Funny lines in the game

Ragin Cajun · Post by **Ragin Cajun** » Mon Nov 09, 2009 4:48 pm

Thought I'd start this for any lines that just make you laugh out loud.

For me, just got one in the base camp. Went to talk to my dog (Pander) and he was interacting with Morrigon. She said "A half eaten hare is not something a woman wants to find in her unmentionables".

Responses were pretty standard but one was "Can't be stinkier than what normally goes in them."

GawainBS · Post by **GawainBS** » Mon Nov 09, 2009 5:08 pm

When Zevran asks what you're going to do after all this, one of the response is somethign like "Before or after I ravish you on the victory party?"

Shale, when you give him his first crystals: "Do these make me look slimmer?"
Also, his general comments against pigeons.

Ragin Cajun · Post by **Ragin Cajun** » Mon Nov 09, 2009 5:43 pm

GawainBS wrote:When Zevran asks what you're going to do after all this, one of the response is somethign like "Before or after I ravish you on the victory party?"

Shale, when you give him his first crystals: "Do these make me look slimmer?"
Also, his general comments against pigeons.

When he stomped on the chicken; that was pretty funny.

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Mon Nov 09, 2009 8:18 pm

We've all heard the Alistair-Morrigan quips, and while they're all really good, I'm especially fond of this one. Morrigan asks Alistair what he would have done if he hadn't "failed" at becoming a Templar.

Alistair: (deadpan) "I would have become a drooling lunatic, killed the Grand Cleric, and run through the streets of Denerim in my small clothes, I guess."
Morrigan: "Your self awareness does you credit."
Alistair: "I thought you'd like that."

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:13 am

In some of your first dialogue with Leliana, after she talks about "forbidden women" being an attraction, you can bluntly ask "Well, what about your fruit? Is it forbidden?" and completely fluster her.

I'm finding there's a ton of rather funny dialogue you can say to people in plenty of instances. Alistair's tendency to be extremely dry and sarcastic to almost everyone quickly made him my favourite NPC.

Post by **BuckGB** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 12:50 am

Morrigan and Sten have very little banter together, but there's a particular exchange that starts off something like this:

Morrigan: "Sten, I see you're deep in thought. Thinking about me? Are we finally going to embrace the night together?"
Sten: "Yes."
Morrigan: "What, what did you say?"
Sten: "You're going to need a suit of armor. And something to bite down on. How strong are human teeth?"
Morrigan: "How strong are my teeth?"
Sten: "Oh, and I may try to nuzzle. If that happens, you'll need an iron prybar. Heat it in a fire first, or it may not get my attention."

It's Sten's emotionless responses and Morrigan's tone during her "How strong are my teeth?" line that make this the funniest exchange I've heard so far. The only problem is that I was forced to listen to this exact same dialogue every 15 minutes during my first time through the game. As a result, I'm leaving Sten out of the group on my current playthrough

.

GawainBS · Post by **GawainBS** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 3:38 am

Nightmare wrote: I'm finding there's a ton of rather funny dialogue you can say to people in plenty of instances. Alistair's tendency to be extremely dry and sarcastic to almost everyone quickly made him my favourite NPC.

That's one of the things I like in DA: for once, you can be ironic or funny against party members without them hating you; they have a sense of humour after all.

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 3:45 am

Nightmare wrote:Alistair's tendency to be extremely dry and sarcastic to almost everyone quickly made him my favourite NPC.

Except to Wynne, when he is reduced to her five-year-old grandson.

Alistair: "Wyyyyynne..."
Wynne: "Yes, Alistair?"
Alistair: "My shirt has a hole in it. Can you mend it for me?"
Wynne "Don't you know how to mend you own clothes?"
Alistair: "Yes, but I always get too much cloth in the thread and it bunches up and doesn't hang right on me. You don't want me going into battle with a hole in my shirt, do you? I might catch a cold!"
Wynne: "Oh, very well. I will mend it."
Alistair: "Oh, and since we're at it, my boots could use some cleaning."
Wynne: "You best stop there, or a hole in your shirt will be the least of your worries."

That's the gist of it, at any rate.

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 4:29 am

GawainBS wrote:That's one of the things I like in DA: for once, you can be ironic or funny against party members without them hating you; they have a sense of humour after all.

There's also a number of dialogues where the main character can answer euphemisms and insinuations in a very literal/naive way. Isabella at the Pearl in Denerim says she wants you to take control of her "helm", and you can answer "But I don't know anything about sailing."

Some of them are almost impossible to resist responding with.

GawainBS · Post by **GawainBS** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 4:34 am

Hehe, yes, I did answer those lines.

Ragin Cajun · Post by **Ragin Cajun** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 5:53 pm

When you remove Shale from your party. He says "Pigeon Crap".

stanolis · Post by **stanolis** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 8:17 pm

wynne and oghrain are talking about alister.

wynne: why do u call alistair 'a little pike twirler'?
og: because he twirls his pike everywhere
w: you've seen him?
o: i just caught him yesterday in the bushes twirling his pike. he was so embarassed. red all the way to his navel. he couldn't even find his shirt.
W: i'm not sure i want to hear the rest of this
o: i keep telling him that pikes are for sticking things at long range like cattle or xxx. not twirling around like a girl.
w: oh, we are talking about an actual pike
o: of course, what did you think i was talking about?

something like that.

jklinders · Post by **jklinders** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 7:40 am

In the human Noble origin when you clear the pantry, Ser Gilbert is saying "giant rats? It's just like the beginning of every bad adventure tale told by my grandfather as a child."

It cracked me up because I was thinking along similar lines.

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 8:25 am

BuckGB wrote:It's Sten's emotionless responses and Morrigan's tone during her "How strong are my teeth?" line that make this the funniest exchange I've heard so far. The only problem is that I was forced to listen to this exact same dialogue every 15 minutes during my first time through the game. As a result, I'm leaving Sten out of the group on my current playthrough .

The voice acting throughout has been nothing less than sensational. It really helps if your lines are voiced by excellent actors, even if I could wish they didn't associate lower class accents with menial jobs and "posher tones" with nobility.

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:37 am

Zevran hasn't been mentioned much, but he spends most of his time hitting on the female party members, and spends most of THAT hitting on Wynne. Mostly to make her uncomfortable.

There's a few dialogues where he doesn't stop making references and asking about her bosoms.

Gauda · Post by **Gauda** » Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:17 am

stanolis wrote:wynne and oghrain are talking about alister.

wynne: why do u call alistair 'a little pike twirler'?
og: because he twirls his pike everywhere
w: you've seen him?
o: i just caught him yesterday in the bushes twirling his pike. he was so embarassed. red all the way to his navel. he couldn't even find his shirt.
W: i'm not sure i want to hear the rest of this
o: i keep telling him that pikes are for sticking things at long range like cattle or xxx. not twirling around like a girl.
w: oh, we are talking about an actual pike
o: of course, what did you think i was talking about?

something like that.

Haha

This one is similar between Shale and Zevran. It is a while since I heard it, so the quote is taken from memory, which probably is wrong. But either way, the essence of it is something like this:
Shale: Whoever holds the control rod decides
Zevran: Strangely, it works the same way for us.

stanolis · Post by **stanolis** » Fri Nov 20, 2009 2:26 pm

see then oghrien and alistair then proceed to have a conversation similar to below.

oghrien: ya know what i like to do when i'm real tense?
alitair: please enlighten me
o: i shine my sword. there's nothing hit rubbing down your piece of steel until it's nice and shiny. (maybe more inneundo-ish) i just pull it out and start working on it.
a: really?
o: yes, it's been a while. the last time, i shined my sword was at the pub.
a: at the pub? wait, are we talking about a real sword?
o: yes, what are you talking about?
a: what are YOU talking about?

that's basically it.

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:54 pm

I am falling in love with Zevran, really.

Wynne: I do not wish to speak of my bosom.
Zevran: But it is a marvelous bosom. I have seen women half your age who have not held up half so well. Perhaps it is a magical bosom?
Wynne: Stop talking about my bosom.
Zevran: But I thought you wished to speak seriously?
Wynne: I do. I thought, however foolishly, that you might be willing to speak of your past.
Zevran: We could do that. There have been many bosoms in my past, though only a few as fine as yours.

I have Zevran and Alistair in my party, and they're both constantly asking Oghren about his never-ending supply of booze. (Keep in mind, Oghren admits he "pisses ale" and kills little boys.)

Zevran: How is it that you never run out? Are you purchasing it somewhere?
Oghren: *grumbles* Nobody sells the good stuff.
Zevran: Then are you making it? I have not seen a still at the camp, and you are not walking around with a keg, so how are you...
Zevran: Oh, no.
Oghren: Mrph. What? Where has your perverted elven mind gone now?
Zevran: That... would explain the smell. Suddenly I am not so interested in trying a sample.

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:52 pm

When the "Perhaps it is a magical bosom?" line was spoken, I almost spat out my coffee all over my computer screen. Awesome stuff.

hedgewizard · Post by **hedgewizard** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 10:11 pm

stanolis wrote:see then oghrien and alistair then proceed to have a conversation similar to below.

oghrien: ya know what i like to do when i'm real tense?
alitair: please enlighten me
o: i shine my sword. there's nothing hit rubbing down your piece of steel until it's nice and shiny. (maybe more inneundo-ish) i just pull it out and start working on it.
a: really?
o: yes, it's been a while. the last time, i shined my sword was at the pub.
a: at the pub? wait, are we talking about a real sword?
o: yes, what are you talking about?
a: what are YOU talking about?

that's basically it.

I had heard that one, they also mentioned something about doing it in public, to which Alistair was disgusted.