Friends, what are they?

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 12:20 pm

What are friends, does you definition of it change as you get older?

I had a discussion with my boss about this. He said, for me a friend is someone who I earn money from. Friends don't really exist, you think someone is your friend when you are young, but lean when you "grow up" they really aren't.

I strongly disagree, I know friendship can break easely, I learned this lesson. But to go as far as there are no real friends, no way.
I think that a friend is someone I can have fun with, someone who thinks somewhat like I do. A REAL (close) friend is there when I need him/her, you only meet one of those in your life...if you are lucky enough that is.

I got a feeling my boss is a bit bitter, perhaps through some experiences in the past. But if he really believes what he says, then he must be very lonely.

So, what do you think is a friend, or doen't it exist at all?

HighLordDave · Post by **HighLordDave** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 12:32 pm

There are varying degrees of friendship, but they are all people who are closer than acquaintences or simply co-workers. There is a measure of trust which comes with friendship.

Sometimes that trust is financial, and sometimes it's personal (as in confidential), and sometimes is it a matter of life and death (such as the bond between firefighters or soldiers).

In my opinion, the closest friends you have are the ones you share the most with. This can include a lover or spouse, children, parents, siblings, a policeman's partner or Navy SEAL team. I believe that no friendship is forever, but rather that it is a temporary condition based upon circumstances. Sometimes, you and your friend will be together for a long time, sometimes you will leave them after only a few days.

In any event, a friend is someone in whom you take an emotional investment and they reciprocate.

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 12:34 pm

Originally posted by Rob-hin

A REAL (close) friend is there when I need him/her, you only meet one of those in your life...if you are lucky enough that is.

I agree with you there. Competely.

REAL friends are a rare breed.

You can tell that you've found a RF (Real Friend) if:

.) you can call them at any time, anywhere and he/she takes the time to listen.

.) you can depend on them to show up if you need them.

.) you can borrow from each other significant amounts of money for a short time with "no questions asked" .

.) the above mentioned money is returned a.s.a.p. with "no questions asked" (you won't believe how many friendships break up over money !

)

.) you don't have to hesitate to leave your friend and your spouse alone in the same room for some time.

.) you can talk with each other about absolutely EVERYTHING, no matter how embarrassing - without your conversation being the talk of the whole town next day.

I might think of some more later, but I'm finished for now !

No worries,

Beldin

Craig · Post by **Craig** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 1:22 pm

Misspelling of Fiend...

Leonardo · Post by **Leonardo** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 2:00 pm

From my files:

"My friend,

When you are sad...
I help you plan revenge on the b***ard that wronged you

When you look up with despair on your eyes...
I get you to a drunken revelry

When you smile...
I know you smoked illegal things

When you are afraid...
I call you chicken and tease you forever

When you are worried...
I tell you how bad things could have been and to stop whimpering

When you are confused...
I use simple words and remind you how dumb you are

When you are sick...
I stay away from you lest I get contamined

When you fall...
I LMAOF for your clumsiness

So I swear, until the end,

You ask me why,

Because I am your friend!"

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 3:12 pm

@craig, you don't mean that ...do you?
I hope not. Don't think like my boss does, you'd only end up alone. But you'd still have us!

@Leonardo, LOL!

josh · Post by **josh** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 3:55 pm

A friend is someone who you feel comfortable being around with.

Tamerlane · Post by **Tamerlane** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 6:45 pm

Originally posted by Rob-hin
What are friends, does you definition of it change as you get older?

It did change for me as I grew up. When I was little I had plenty of different 'best friends.'

Now I just drop people into two categories.

Close Friends- The type who come at your house late at night because their bored. Forcing you to stay up all night watching old repeats and the shopping shows.

Generally old school time friends.

Associates- Generally people from work/class who I chat to. We don't do anything after class, needless to say many of these are a lot older and mature then me.

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 6:55 pm

Friends for me is rather simple. Its people whom i enjoy to communicate or in other ways socialise with. Look at HLDs post for examples.

And the definition have stayed the same for as long as i can remember.

C Elegans · Post by **C Elegans** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:19 pm

Originally posted by Rob-hin
What are friends, does you definition of it change as you get older?

I had a discussion with my boss about this. He said, for me a friend is someone who I earn money from. Friends don't really exist, you think someone is your friend when you are young, but lean when you "grow up" they really aren't.

Oh, that's a sad definition

Your boss appears to be disillusioned and cynic in this respect, perhaps he has never had any real friends.

I believe in real friendship between people, and I believe real friendship has so many advantages for both people, so material issues seem totally unimportant.

To me, a real friend is a person I know very well, and who know me very well. We have a deep understanding of each other, and we have strong feelings and are strongly attached to each other. It's somebody who knows everything about me, somebody I have no secrets for and somebody I can behave totally natural together with. We accept and like each other as we are, even if we don't need to agree about everyting.

I regard myself as a very lucky person, I have several very close friends who I've known for many years. They are like a family where you have choosen each other

Then there are friends who are more like "aquantainces" (sp?), more "superficial" friends. People you know less well, but generally like. People you trust in certain areas but not others, people you are close to in some respects but not all. Such friends can be everything from quite close to fairly distant, I have many such friends, many more than "real friends" or rather, "very close friends".

Then of course there are people who come and go in your life in brief periods, not really friends but rather associates who you spend limited time with. I've had lots of associates I've been partying with, doing specific activities with, etc, but I wouldn't call this group friends, since we didn't really get to know each other closely.

My view of friendship has changed since I was a young teenager, at that time I had lots of rather superficial friends I used to call friends, and I sometimes believed we knew each other better than we did. Later, when I developed some really close friendships, I noticed the difference.

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 8:30 am

This topic has really given me a new view of peoples defenition of friendship.
Many peolpe have a very clear view about it and this surprises me. I've read all your replies and there arn't as mutch diferences as I thought.
I think many of you gave it a lot of thought, not only here but through your life so far.

Thanx for your input.

Tamerlane · Post by **Tamerlane** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 8:33 am

It was an interesting thread I must admit.

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 8:44 am

I'm glad you like it, so is your imput!

KidD01 · Post by **KidD01** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 9:12 am

Originally posted by Rob-hin
What are friends, does you definition of it change as you get older?

Friends are persons you can rely on when you have somethings to discuss with (It's cheaper than going to psyciatrist

), they also will be there when you need a helping hand & friendly advise. Sometimes there are times when you can't discuss things with your parents, relatives and may be your wive

They also share your visions, your ways of having fun (even sometimes not the same with their taste)

Originally posted by Rob-hin :I had a discussion with my boss about this. He said, for me a friend is someone who I earn money from. Friends don't really exist, you think someone is your friend when you are young, but lean when you "grow up" they really aren't.

I think your boss is one huge slime ball

It's clear from the way of his thinking he used to take advantage of people around him, toying with their emotions just for his profit. I despise that kind of person.

Originally posted by Rob-hin : I strongly disagree, I know friendship can break easely, I learned this lesson. But to go as far as there are no real friends, no way.
I think that a friend is someone I can have fun with, someone who thinks somewhat like I do. A REAL (close) friend is there when I need him/her, you only meet one of those in your life...if you are lucky enough that is.

True indeed, FYI I have 10 true friends (5 males and 5 females). Some of them are married now. But we always try to keep close contact each other. If we heard something happen toward one of us, we will try as fast as we can to visit the person in trouble - or at least make a call. We've been friends since childhood - from age of 7 for exact. I recall we gather for new_beetle 2yrs daughter birthday last time, and we still share our thoughts and joke the way we used to be even some of them bring their husbands/wives

Originally posted by Rob-hin : I got a feeling my boss is a bit bitter, perhaps through some experiences in the past. But if he really believes what he says, then he must be very lonely.

IMO your boss is used to take advantage of people. That's why he thinks : a friend is someone who he earn money from & friends don't really exist. He's affraid someday a person will come to his live and do the same to him like the way he used to do with others. My comment to your boss as Mr. T says : "I pity the fool !"

Originally posted by Rob-hin So, what do you think is a friend, or doen't it exist at all?

They really exist ! Trust me on that ! It's the way how you threat your friend that will someday make them real friends.

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 9:58 am

Re: Re: Friends, what are they?

Originally posted by KidD01

They really exist ! Trust me on that ! It's the way how you threat your friend that will someday make them real friends.

I believe so too.
There is this guy that I have known since forever, Donny.
I'm 20 years old now and we lived in the same street when we were young, and I've known him ever since. That's about 15 years (first 5 years not counting though I did know him then).

He is the only one I think of as a real life-time friend.

Ofcourse I have other close friends too, but none as close as him.

Craig · Post by **Craig** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 11:55 am

Bad joke

Tybaltus · Post by **Tybaltus** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 1:43 pm

Since Rob gave me the link, thought Id add my 2 cents, and the thread is bump worthy

My own definition of friend is someone who you feel comfortable around, and vice versa. If it isnt mutual, one of the characters are in denial. They are characters that help fill a void, or just someone to get along with. A character that, in some way, comforts you in their own way, whether comforting is just having a good time, or listening, or just plain old hanging out. There needs to be some sort of an attachment.

Remember, friends can be both man or animal. So, with animals, it adds a different feeling, but theyre still friends.

I think the opinion of friends dont change according to age, rather experience. The more frustrating friendships are, the less they are believed upon, and the more narrow the thought. If one has never had problems with friendship, then the definition tends to be very loose and open ended, sometimes, more personal.

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 1:54 pm

lol

*acts surprised*

RandomThug · Post by **RandomThug** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 1:57 pm

friend ( P ) Pronunciation Key (frnd)
n.
A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.

There are a million ways to look at friends. I have two. Honor and Loyalty. I have lots of "associates" but truly only two friends (excluding family and girlfriend).

I would die and or kill for those two and I know they would do the same.

Would you step in front of a bus for a friend?

frogus · Post by **frogus** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 2:17 pm

A friend is a boy who can say 'we're like brothers', and have you laugh forcedly but know it is true.