) Safehouse is now open for...business.As you step in, *er, watch your step, be careful not to tread on that first floor tile* you'll notice the "Amnesty Box" located on your immediate left. This is a convenient way for you to get rid of any incrimin...
ah, I mean, a pleasant way to liberate yourself of any dangerous items or equipment that you may be carrying on your person, such as flame throwers, tins of spam, bottles of Mountain Dew, hair rollers, or spare jugs of shine that might be weighing you down. I whistle merrily, fingering the key in my pocket.
You'll find the decor of this elegant Victorian-era mansion to be truly inspired by the excesses of the landed gentry of days gone by.
The framed masterpieces that grace the walls are of course originals from the great masters themselves, procured for us by special friends. Also adorning the walls is an assortment of weaponry from all ages of human history, from Oogla's bone club (circa 150,000 BC) to our latest stealth weapon, The Brain Wave Silencer (a COMM recruitment tool ). Have no fear, for all of these potentially life-threatening tools are securely bolted in place, safe from tampering. I continue whistling merrily, patting the wrench in my back pocket. The Safehouse boasts the latest in comfort technology - wet bars (for those who feel too dry); dry bars (for those who need to dry out); listening devic...oops
...of course, I mean a magnificent sound system; therapeutic massage kiosks; and a kitchen staffed by culinary artisans from around the globe, here to satisfy your every whim or flight of fancy - from Peking Duck to Shrimp Jambalaya, or burgers and fries to a splendid bowl of Froot Loops. There's even an ingeniously designed coat rack near the entrance that can accomodate even the heaviest-gauge straitjacket, for those of you who follow the latest fashions. Make yourself at home! Speak freely - just be sure to speak in the direction of the conveniently located potted plant nearest you - and relax! Remember, you are amongst friends!
