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The CIA (COMM Intelligence Agency, that is ) Safehouse is now open for...business.

As you step in, *er, watch your step, be careful not to tread on that first floor tile* you'll notice the "Amnesty Box" located on your immediate left. This is a convenient way for you to get rid of any incrimin... ah, I mean, a pleasant way to liberate yourself of any dangerous items or equipment that you may be carrying on your person, such as flame throwers, tins of spam, bottles of Mountain Dew, hair rollers, or spare jugs of shine that might be weighing you down.

I whistle merrily, fingering the key in my pocket.

You'll find the decor of this elegant Victorian-era mansion to be truly inspired by the excesses of the landed gentry of days gone by. The framed masterpieces that grace the walls are of course originals from the great masters themselves, procured for us by special friends. Also adorning the walls is an assortment of weaponry from all ages of human history, from Oogla's bone club (circa 150,000 BC) to our latest stealth weapon, The Brain Wave Silencer (a COMM recruitment tool ). Have no fear, for all of these potentially life-threatening tools are securely bolted in place, safe from tampering. I continue whistling merrily, patting the wrench in my back pocket.

The Safehouse boasts the latest in comfort technology - wet bars (for those who feel too dry); dry bars (for those who need to dry out); listening devic...oops ...of course, I mean a magnificent sound system; therapeutic massage kiosks; and a kitchen staffed by culinary artisans from around the globe, here to satisfy your every whim or flight of fancy - from Peking Duck to Shrimp Jambalaya, or burgers and fries to a splendid bowl of Froot Loops. There's even an ingeniously designed coat rack near the entrance that can accomodate even the heaviest-gauge straitjacket, for those of you who follow the latest fashions.

Make yourself at home! Speak freely - just be sure to speak in the direction of the conveniently located potted plant nearest you - and relax! Remember, you are amongst friends!

Hey, I like Mountain Dew, stop looking at me like that...

And that club of yours is useless, everyone knows the first human beings were named Ug and Og.

*Sigh*

And here I thought there was going to be another serious SYM style discussion about the CIA

Oh well I might as well get myself something to eat whilst I'm here.

*Notices table between the pair of suits with the heavy Italian accents and violin cases. And the Spanish guy with the fake moustache. *

I'll have a Cola for now......!?!? Did that pot plant just move

*Tears off a piece of the pot plant and starts smoking it* Hey! This isn't a pot plant!

Oh, a plant in a pot. I see.

What this is an outrage, you promised a camera in every pot plant. I feel so cheated

Well ok I assumed a camera would be in every pot plant, but oooh I need another Cola to simmer down....

*Points at a poorly concealed TV screen* Hey, look! I'm on TV! *Waves* Woohoo, I'm a TV star!

Hmmm, I guess the COMM's weren't prepared to have two Aussies running riot in their establishment. Uh oh, those guys in the black suits and shades weren't here earlier. I wonder if their thinking of having the Peking Duck also.

Originally posted by Tamerlane
Hmmm, I guess the COMM's weren't prepared to have two Aussies running riot in their establishment. Uh oh, those guys in the black suits and shades weren't here earlier. I wonder if their thinking of having the Peking Duck also.

Evidently not. They must be. *Calls out* Hey guys! It's not that bright in here! Off with the glasses, the sun's outside!

Oh thats just lovely, draw their attention to us now, why don't you.

Then again its not like we have anything to hide now, do we

Walks up the nearest secretary:
"Hi, I'd like to apply for the job of black-suited, sunglassed, evil, henchman toady"

Originally posted by /-\lastor
Walks up the nearest secretary:
"Hi, I'd like to apply for the job of black-suited, sunglassed, evil, henchman toady"

*Calls for Nippy!!*


Another vict..I mean supporter

@Tammy-I figure they're the waiters here.

CIA safehouse? i suppose that explains the huge 'Property of the CIA' signs around the grounds, as well as the armed guards, and the 'Best safehouse 1997' plaque at the entrance. i assume 'safe' is a relative term?

sits down, accidently brushes secret button, chair transforms into emergency escape device, and goes flying through the ceiling*

Originally posted by Robnark
CIA safehouse? i suppose that explains the huge 'Property of the CIA' signs around the grounds, as well as the armed guards, and the 'Best safehouse 1997' plaque at the entrance. i assume 'safe' is a relative term?

sits down, accidently brushes secret button, chair transforms into emergency escape device, and goes flying through the ceiling*

I want a go on that ride!

Cheers @Robnark.
*Reaches down and pulls a lever. The chairs slowly lowers.* This is not as exhilarating as I thought it'd be.

ooh, you've found the secret basement.

i found the ladies bathroom on the way up

I appear to have found the monitors linked to the camera in the ladies bathroom down here. Did you know there's a 'shower-cam' in here?

*whispers*
yep, i clamered back down through the hole, and noticed it while hiding behind the shower curtain.

*Whispers back*
Come down here and check out the angles this screen can get. And it has an incredible zoom function, you wouldn't believe the clarity the image has. Bring some popcorn.