The Refurbished Sanctuary for the Depraved

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 10:36 am

Inspired by Chan's recent thread, I thought it might be a good occasion to renovate my old "Home for the Depraved" and bring it back as a sparkling, new refuge for those twisted and demented souls of SYM.

We have a brand new menu that includes, but is not limited to:
all manner of English Muffins, Pasta alla Puttanesca, Diabolically, hot chillies....
and last but not least, Devilishly delicious deserts... Our Mud Pie is...well... to die for...

Drinks

*Snake Sliver Sling

*Hot Oyster C0cktail upon the half shell

*Incendiary Navels

*Satan's Furnace

Our decor has been somewhat revamped as well. Large, velvet cushions lie strewn over the hardwood.... Roman-style lounging chairs grace the front room... and for the truly adventurous... the basement, in addition to its original torturous delights.. now offers a jungle gym.

So do enter the tranquil warmth of the oasis and allow all your worldly cares to drift peacefully away.

Kameleon · Post by **Kameleon** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 10:41 am

*screams*

*runs back into his ready-made padded cell*

Ahhh...

I'll have an Incendiary Navel, please

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 10:59 am

Originally posted by Kameleon
*screams*

*runs back into his ready-made padded cell*

Ahhh...

I'll have an Incendiary Navel, please

*hunts around for the barmaid, instructs her to prepare Kam a screamingly hot Incendiary Navel*

Kameleon · Post by **Kameleon** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 11:08 am

Hey! Who put all this leather stuff in my cell?!

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 11:12 am

Originally posted by Kameleon
Hey! Who put all this leather stuff in my cell?!

No doubt it was one of the staff; we do after all aim to ensure the complete comfort and satisfaction of all our residents

Kameleon · Post by **Kameleon** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 11:17 am

Originally posted by dragon wench
No doubt it was one of the staff; we do after all aim to ensure the complete comfort and satisfaction of all our residents

Ah, excellent - I was worried I'd have to pay for a moment

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 11:25 am

Originally posted by Kameleon
Ah, excellent - I was worried I'd have to pay for a moment

Not to worry, upon entry to the house, all receive an inclusive package deal granting access to our diverse and sundry ministrations.
The Sanctuary's express goal is to instill complete peace of mind... and like our rival, the Club Med, we even provide child-minding services.

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 11:29 am

Originally posted by dragon wench

The Sanctuary's express goal is to instill complete peace of mind... and like our rival, the Club Med, we even provide child-minding services.

*Nips in, dumps kids, nips back out* I'll be back later

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 12:06 pm

I'll take the hot oyster on the half-shell. I'll supply the rest.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:07 pm

Ok, seems like I'll be living in the basement....have my mail forwarded.

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:12 pm

Originally posted by Bloodstalker

Ok, seems like I'll be living in the basement....have my mail forwarded.

Sorry the gutter is taken

*ushers kids home, they have caused enough damage to the property*

I'll have a Furnace please bar wench

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:16 pm

Is that a bottle of Jameson's in your pants, or are you just happy....oh, never mind.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:17 pm

Who dare lay claim to my gutter?

If it's you Ysh...we can work something out

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:19 pm

BS, you're just a sucker for a woman in leather.....not that that's a bad thing, mind you.

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:24 pm

@Ned, don't tell the barmaid I am bringing our own *eek*

*pours Ned a dram* how have you been? *hug*

@BS, I am not negotiable

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:27 pm

I've been alright Ysh, thanks for the dram **shoots it down with a smile**

She may not be negotiable BS, but she is gropable! Thank you Miss, may I have another.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:28 pm

@Ned.....I can't argue the fact...well, I could, but no one would believe me

@Ysh....Ok, I'll take your best offer then

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:31 pm

*places bottle on floor to avoid gropes* let's face it, a few more shots like that and that's where you will be

@BS, try the gents toilets, I have no interest accommodating those

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:37 pm

Pardon my wandering hands, it would appear this smooth whisky has done clouded my eyes.

Anyone seen a bottle of whisky. Ooooooooo, that's a bit soft for a bottle.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:37 pm

The better to look up skirts

I gotta run...nice to see you Ned