The Internet's authoritative role-playing game forum.
https://gamebanshee.com/forums/
Originally posted by Aegis
Only as long as they maintain their purpose of being hammer and axe wielding cannon fodder.
*A large cannon appears on the horizon, rolls over the plains and crushes the dwarves before they can say "Skullcracker"*Originally posted by Galuf the Dwarf
*puts 2 fingers in his mouth, gives a strong whistle, and 10,000 war-ready dwarves, 300 crossbowmen, and 2,000 ready clerics aproach*
Ahem.
Originally posted by Kameleon
*A large cannon appears on the horizon, rolls over the plains and crushes the dwarves before they can say "Skullcracker"*
Ground beards don't make good coffee
Originally posted by Galuf the Dwarf
*puts 2 fingers in his mouth, gives a strong whistle, and 10,000 war-ready dwarves, 300 crossbowmen, and 2,000 ready clerics aproach*
Ahem.
Alright, who's ready for a coffee break?
Originally posted by James Mason
Is Galuf going for the most posts by newest member award? Looks like he beat me.
Originally posted by Galuf the Dwarf
Geez, all the elves, humans, and human/elf half-breeds we need, but above all others, Dwarves tend to seem like nothing but axe or hammer-wielding cannon fodder!
Originally posted by Galuf the Dwarf
Geez, all the elves, humans, and human/elf half-breeds we need, but above all others, Dwarves tend to seem like nothing but axe or hammer-wielding cannon fodder!
Originally posted by Chanak
Now elves...that is another matter. Elf-tossing is a gentleman's sport, reserved for those with refined taste and big pocketbooks to match. It's a rather expensive past time.
Originally posted by fable
Well, this gets into an area where there has always been a great deal of contention. I mean, of course, the one where people consider the virtues of dwarves, kobolds, and halflings, as alternative cannon fodder during battle. And with all due respect to yourself, I think you really aren't being completely fair to those other races if you don't mention them in this context. After all, dwarves may be able to enter combat from on-high swinging their axes and screaming like elves in heat, but their weight often counteracts all the lift that even the best catapults can provide; while halflings can sometimes catch an updraft in battle and actually direct their pattern of flight. This latter can be a true benefit whose potential shouldn't be overlooked. Imagine a series of halflings pelting the Forces of Evil with olive stones, chicken legs, and roast muttons falling from the heavens! Whole wars have turned upon less.
Yes, I know what you're going to say--but you're wrong. While it is true that halflings will often consume their ammunition in flight, or, given less edible ammunition, look about for a dinner table to land on instead of an orc, it has to be remembered that halflings are leisurely diners. Even the most voracious halfling will not consume more than one-eighth its meal within any given hour, according to studies performed by that eminent pathologist and bon vivant, Dr. Hectronymous Weasel. And while the Forces of Evil are indeed vast, dastardly, powerful, and all in favor of raising taxes, even their horrific might has yet to find a way to keep a meal intact for very long on a battlefield--or to prepare one ahead of time, just in case an airborne army of halflings were going to drop in.
Come we to kobolds. I'm really surprised you haven't even mentioned these little fellows; why, compared to dwarves, kobolds get hardly any press at all! They just calmly go about their business, translating documents from ancient Lithuanian, delivering pizzas, in short, acting just like you or me, if we were very short and gifted with noses as long as the Volga.
But put a kobold in the air during combat, and you'll have to look hard to find a more determined and intelligent projectile. Kobolds have an native fierceness and determination which is often overlooked when they run away from mobs of telemarketers; but it is there, nonetheless. It is a sense of innate pride, an awareness of Koboldness, or that which makes a kobold stand taller when they stand alone; particularly since there isn't anyone larger around to draw comparisons with. It is this core of seriousness that will drive a kobold into airborne battle frenzy, allowing them to carve up the hairdo of a balrog into such a terrible shape that the poor creature has no choice left but that of suicide to avoid permanent shame. Many such cases were in fact recorded during the famous Schlesswig-Genossenshaft-Meingufuhren-aus-Demfeldtraustraufennoggen War of 1310. You will recall that it lasted only a month before both sides gave up in disgust at their inability to accurately spell the name of the hill on which it was being fought; but during that time, the kobolds disposed of *4* Black Riders and a band of really PO'd chipmunks. Few can claim to have accomplished as much, in so short a time, and to so little ultimate effect.
There. I trust, sir, that we hear less exclusively about the dwarves in the future. If not, you shall have a card from my seconds in the morning, and a second card from my thirds if it continues.
Now they're class.