Bad Day at the Office

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri Jul 18, 2003 4:32 pm

This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have
a bad day at work, think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I
had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom
of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of
a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with
tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to
yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Ned Flanders · Post by **Ned Flanders** » Fri Jul 18, 2003 4:45 pm

add another person to the list laughing in hysterics. And to think, I just turned down a similar job offer this week.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Fri Jul 18, 2003 4:49 pm

LMGDAO

thantor3 · Post by **thantor3** » Fri Jul 18, 2003 5:10 pm

Granted, I kind of came in on the tail end of this thing, but I think it was very unfair that this poor man was made the butt of a such a joke. Obviously, his job was not all it was cracked up to be, but I think his sister Fanny really gave him the bums rush. It is one thing to share something informally on the backside of an email, but to publicly make her brother look like such an keister is really rather tooshie in my opinion. Someone really needs to get to the bottom of this as's soon as possible.

Gwalchmai · Post by **Gwalchmai** » Fri Jul 18, 2003 5:14 pm

LMAO @Than!

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri Jul 18, 2003 5:18 pm

@Than,
lmao!!!

I received this via email at work this morning and practically fell off my chair I was laughing so hard. Naturally my coworkers wanted to know what was so funny so I forwarded it to them. Hysterics ensued for a good 15 minutes

Kittenwithawhip · Post by **Kittenwithawhip** » Sun Jul 20, 2003 12:20 pm

rotflmao priceless

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Mon Jul 21, 2003 5:54 pm

LMAO @ Than......*Gigglefit*

erm, I mean..I agree, as health professionals we can not condone this level of insensitivity

*Busts out in giggles*

Mr Flibble · Post by **Mr Flibble** » Tue Jul 22, 2003 4:30 am

If you think that's a bad day, think what it would have been like for the poor jellyfish

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Tue Jul 22, 2003 4:36 pm

Originally posted by Mr Flibble
If you think that's a bad day, think what it would have been like for the poor jellyfish

LMAO....ewwww

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Tue Jul 22, 2003 7:01 pm

Originally posted by Mr Flibble
If you think that's a bad day, think what it would have been like for the poor jellyfish

He's breeding as we speak

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Tue Jul 22, 2003 8:20 pm

Originally posted by Mr Flibble
If you think that's a bad day, think what it would have been like for the poor jellyfish

ROFL!

Actually this story reminds me a great deal of something that happened to a friend of mine who went wilderness camping.....
In his moment of need he confused poison oak for leaves of a more benign nature

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Tue Jul 22, 2003 8:22 pm

Coulda been worse...coulda been cactus

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Wed Jul 23, 2003 7:48 am

Nice one, Than...

... a great follow up I say.