GameBanshee Forums

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 6:55 am**

How would a certain person throw a bike on a roof?

Medium-level student:
Throws the bike on the roof

High-level student:
Calculates how he can throw the bike on the roof

Low-level student:
Doesn´t know how to throw the bike on the roof

Criminal:
Throws a stolen bike on the roof

Social worker:
Advises a problematic child how to throw the bike on the roof

Hooligan:
Destroyes the bike and then throws it on the roof

Schyzofrenic:
Throws multiple bikes on the roof

Work-a-holic:
Throws all the bikes in the region on the roof

Artist:
Makes a painting of himself throwing the bike on the roof

Violent person:
Throws the bike AND it´s owner on the roof, climbs up, and then throws both back

Governmental worker:
First studies the law for throwing bikes on the roof, than starts a complicated procedure which enables him to throw the bike on the roof without any risk of procecution, than compares it with other options, agrees to do it and proudly notifies the newspapers, but then changes his mind because his work is not supposed to be physical or dirty (says the general contract for governmental workers)

Footballplayer:
Kicks the bike on the roof

Drunk:
Falls in an attempt to throw the bike on the roof

Baldurs Gate player:
Casts teleport field on the bike and teleports it to the roof

Historican:
Looks at the past experiences of throwing bikes on the roof

Communist:
Shouts "For Russia" while he and 20 comrads throw the bike on the roof

Visually handicapped person:
Throws the bike on another roof

.............................. Who knows more???

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 8:32 am**

Engineer: Disassembles bike to component parts, throws up individually and then reassembles on roof

Artist/engineer (dual-major): Disassembles bike to component parts, throws up individually and then reassembles on roof upside down

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 10:42 am**

Originally posted by NiteWulf
How would a certain person throw a bike on a roof?

Schyzofrenic:
Throws multiple bikes on the roof

I think you may be confusing schizophrenia with MPD (multiple personality disorder). Someone who has MPD would be inclined to throw multiple bikes on the roof, in various ways. A schizophrenic would be inclined to throw a bicycle on the roof after the God of Bicycles told them to do so.

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 11:39 am**

Re: Re: ..... And how would YOU throw the bike on a roof???

Originally posted by fable
I think you may be confusing schizophrenia with MPD (multiple personality disorder). <snip> A schizophrenic would be inclined to throw a bicycle on the roof after the God of Bicycles told them to do so.

Technically, a schizophrenic may or may not throw the bike on the roof depending on which polarity they were on. If under normal circumstances, then the bike tossing protocol would probably default to their profession as discussed above. If schizo at the time, then they would or would not depending on what the god of bicycles told them to do. ..just felt that needed to be made clear..

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 1:10 pm**

Paranoid: Afraid the bike is out to get him, Climbs on roof to avoid being caught by bike.

Bipolar: Prepares setting, gathers materials, goes shopping and buys expensive bike and just the right outfit for bike tossing. Buys several tools and impliments that might come in handy for the job. Picks up a few more items while standing in the check out line. Subscribes to "Bike Throwers Illustrated". Checks out a book and reads up on bikes and bike tossing. Calls several friends and throws a bike tossing party. Orders catering. Pays with credit card because he is now out of money.Throws bike on roof, carefully making sure that it is done to perfection.

Becomes depressed because he is sure he could have done a better job. Goes to bed for a week.

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 3:08 pm**

The Hulk: Throws the roof on the bike.

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 3:32 pm**

Originally posted by NiteWulf
How would a certain person throw a bike on a roof?

Medium-level student:
Throws the bike on the roof

High-level student:
Calculates how he can throw the bike on the roof

Low-level student:
Doesn´t know how to throw the bike on the roof

Criminal:
Throws a stolen bike on the roof

Social worker:
Advises a problematic child how to throw the bike on the roof

Hooligan:
Destroyes the bike and then throws it on the roof

Schyzofrenic:
Throws multiple bikes on the roof

Work-a-holic:
Throws all the bikes in the region on the roof

Artist:
Makes a painting of himself throwing the bike on the roof

Violent person:
Throws the bike AND it´s owner on the roof, climbs up, and then throws both back *Cough* RandomThug *cough*

Governmental worker:
First studies the law for throwing bikes on the roof, than starts a complicated procedure which enables him to throw the bike on the roof without any risk of procecution, than compares it with other options, agrees to do it and proudly notifies the newspapers, but then changes his mind because his work is not supposed to be physical or dirty (says the general contract for governmental workers)

Footballplayer:
Kicks the bike on the roof

Drunk:
Falls in an attempt to throw the bike on the roof

Baldurs Gate player:
Casts teleport field on the bike and teleports it to the roof

Historican:
Looks at the past experiences of throwing bikes on the roof

Communist:
Shouts "For Russia" while he and 20 comrads throw the bike on the roof

Visually handicapped person:
Throws the bike on another roof

.............................. Who knows more???

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 3:47 pm**

Miner: Undermine and collapse house. Ride bike onto roof

Dwarf: knock elf off bike, throw elf and bike on roof
Elf: insufficient strength to throw bike anywhere

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 5:19 pm**

Norman Vincent Peale: Envision the bike succesfully located upon the roof

Existentialist: Contemplate the futility of attempting to hurl the bike onto the roof. Conclude that for him, the ideal is to throw bike behind bushes. Compose a poem about the experience.

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 5:50 pm**

Godzilla: Crushes both the bike and the house during a fight with Ghidora and Rodan.

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 7:47 pm**

Originally posted by Scayde
Norman Vincent Peale: Envision the bike succesfully located upon the roof

Existentialist: Contemplate the futility of attempting to hurl the bike onto the roof. Conclude that for him, the ideal is to throw bike behind bushes. Compose a poem about the experience.

Fundamentalist: Raptures the bike onto the roof.

Posted: **Thu Jul 24, 2003 8:50 pm**

Good ones @ Gwally and fable

*Sniggle*

Salesman: Set up bike dispaly on roof and convince neighbors that for three monthly instalments of 39.99, they too can have a bike on their roof.

Posted: **Fri Jul 25, 2003 10:27 am**

Mid-level manager:
After several 9am meetings re: Project - Bike on Roof, decides to bring in an outside consultant. Consultant recommends hiring professional thrower who specializes in bikes. Professional thrower throws bike on roof, charges $5000 for 2 minutes work.

Johnny Knoxville:
Uses homemade catapult to throw bike onto roof, with him on it. Wearing panda suit and on fire, rides bike off roof into kiddie pool filled with sewage and razor blades.

Teamster:
Insists that, while throwing the bike onto the roof does fall within his job description, lifting the bike into position to be thrown does not. Asks that you bring in rep from local Lifters Union 582 for that segment of the job.

Posted: **Fri Jul 25, 2003 12:45 pm**

General - orders bike on the roof. When the bike fails to comply, the general has the bike taken by overwhelming force. Operation declared a success, general awarded Bronze Star.

Posted: **Fri Jul 25, 2003 1:52 pm**

Lance Armstrong: Falls in crash with other cyclists, picks himself up, then sprints to the top of the roof to place himself more than 60 seconds ahead of his nearest competitor.

Posted: **Fri Jul 25, 2003 1:57 pm**

*sniggle* @ Sojourner

Six Sigma: Develope a team for evaluating the eficiency of current methods. Build a mock-up to scale of bike and roof. break down the process into as many steps as possible. Select each step and devise alternatives testing each variable against the standard. Plot efficiency of variables against non-variables one at a time. Rework combinations until each step has been designated as variable, and tested against standards of variation. Compute findings. Graph findings. Select most efficient variables and construct new protocol. Try to evaluate why bike no longer landson roof, but is hurled into neighbors yard. Designate project as human error. Return to previous designe. Fire team. Add reflectors to bike as safety measure.
declaire project a success.

Posted: **Fri Jul 25, 2003 2:28 pm**

What is a Six Sigma? (I thought at first it might be a sorority house....

)

Posted: **Fri Jul 25, 2003 2:36 pm**

Originally posted by Gwalchmai
What is a Six Sigma? (I thought at first it might be a sorority house.... )

LOL...Six Sigma is the new corporate quality control darling. Companies are hiring these guys to sit around, crunch numbers and brainstorm ways to improve efficiency.

LOL...The things they come up with usually cause as much confusion as anything else.

Here is another link.

Posted: **Fri Jul 25, 2003 2:42 pm**

Originally posted by Scayde
LOL...Six Sigma is the new corporate quality control darling.

Ah. I figured it might be something like that as I read the rest of your post. Imagine my disappointment...

Posted: **Fri Jul 25, 2003 2:53 pm**

Originally posted by Gwalchmai
Ah. I figured it might be something like that as I read the rest of your post. Imagine my disappointment...

LOL...Sorry Gwally......*HUG*

I guess I could wear my school girl outfit if that would make you feel better