Toast

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Mon May 10, 2004 7:34 pm

We all know that there is a Right Way to eat toast, and many, many Wrong Ways that serve only to trap the foolish and lead them from the true path to Crispy Bread Paradise. But how does one find the right combinations? How to avoid the pitfalls of low-fat spreads and squeezable dairy products?

fear not, for now you can share the good news! the lazy path to gourmet delight shall unfold before us.

but first, a summary of the most common styles:

Butter
should be applied liberally and melted in. almost unbearably good, but in quantity, the lack of distinct flavour can leave one feeling unfulfilled. use with good, slightly soft toast. when toasting, put aside at least half a round of plain buttered.

Jams, Jellies and other Preserves
Jam is most satisfactory in a sticky, breakfasty way, but you want something very fruity and not overly sweetened to get the most enjoyment. on the downside, the fruit can hinder spreadability. jelly is better in that respect, and generally more managable, yet the lack of fruit can render it rather bland compared to a full-bodied jam.
Marmalade is distinct as an almost solely breakfast preserve, with it's slightly runny consistency and the cheeky citric bite of the peel, but I've never been a fan, personally.

Marmite
a Real spread for Real people, marmite is the choice of one who wants flavour, and wants their toast to have impact, to let you know "yes! I'm awake, and by God, I've Breakfasted!"
those in the know have it without butter, and applied to the second side of the toast before grilling - which may be tricky in a toaster - for concentrated transcendant flavour. as you may have guessed, it's a personal favourite.

Honey
a whole world of toasting by itself, honey offers many distinct experiences, from the pale, smooth sugary goo that seems to get everywhere, to dark, rich, bitter honeys with unique flavours, to opaque, pale, crystallised honey with a juicy sweetness. the stickiness can be a problem, especially on bread with large air pockets and a danger of seepage.

Chocolate spread
evil evil, evil. it embodies the little demon that sits on your shoulder and tells you to gargle the sweet, sweet sulphuric acid. sure, it seems like a good idea at the time, and you know you can't not do it. but one day you'll explain to your grandchildren - by means of a computer speaking thingy - why it was you had to have your larynx removed.
in the interest of fairness, chocolate spread might not be deadly, acidic, carcenogenic or the devils sputum, but it might be. think on.

Cheese
well, a whole meal by itself, and many different cheeses and combinations. some like soft cheeses spread on afterwards, some the squeezable kind, but I will be dealing with the bubbling, browning, steaming blanket that covers the slice, and the many accompaniments.
-meats
thin, sliced meats such as ham, and so forth add an extra dimension to the toast, some real substance. on the other hand they're dead animal flesh, but then you probably wouldn't hav liked th animal itself anyway. they tend to smell funny.
-'base' sauces
tomato puree may be applied as a base - directly onto the toast, beneath the cheese - as can chilli sauce, brown sauce, barbeque sauce and many others. these sauces are usually thick and add a lot of flavour to the toast, but would be scorched if left on top. personally I'm a chilli sauce man, but there is a huge range that can be explored
-topping sauces
tobasco and worcestershire spring to mind - thin, flavoursome sauces which permeate the entire slice for added flavour without much added substance - or effort.

contributions/hate mail/worship? post it.

der Moench · Post by **der Moench** » Mon May 10, 2004 7:44 pm

Robnark, that is the longest post I have ever seen from you ... and it is about ... toast. This place gets weirder by the minute.

Peace.

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Mon May 10, 2004 7:47 pm

there are that I really, really take an interest in. but toast is the only one I get much of.

der Moench · Post by **der Moench** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:00 pm

A man's gotta have his priorities.

Me, I'm a butter and preserves kinda guy. Specifically, Hero brand Swiss preserves - Raspberry. But I can do honey. I can do Nutella. I don't know Marmite.

Isn't that a small ground-hog like creature?

Peace.

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:08 pm

marmite = yeast extract stuff that's left over when making beer. thick, incredibly dark brown, and it tastes like someone's landscaping and redecorating your tastebuds with millions of savoury little jackhammers.

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:10 pm

Originally posted by Robnark
marmite = yeast extract stuff that's left over when making beer. thick, incredibly dark brown, and it tastes like someone's landscaping and redecorating your tastebuds with millions of savoury little jackhammers.

Have you ever thought of going into writing and publishing? Your descriptions are quite detailed.

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:12 pm

Originally posted by Aqua-chan
Have you ever thought of going into writing and publishing? Your descriptions are quite detailed.

yup, but apparently "books about savoury spreads don't sell."

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:27 pm

Bummer. I think you could have excelled in the field.

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:35 pm

yeah, well, I'll have to wait until someone decides it's postmodern or a metaphor or god knows what else, and then I'll be poised to prostitute my considerable talents for all they're worth.

Kaitsuburi · Post by **Kaitsuburi** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:38 pm

A friend of mine puts plain yogurt on her toast (I guess trying to cut down on calorie intake). Never tried it; there are better ways to eat your toast (he-he).

My favorite as of late is butter with orange ginger marmalade. Earl Gray tea is mandatory

-kaitsuburi

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:46 pm

I prefer cherry marmalade myself, but orange is good, too.

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:46 pm

hmm, not a yogurt fan myself, but orange ginger marmalade sounds rather tempting. my dad's in one of his jam-making moods recently, so I'll have to give him some suggestions...

*drools with barely contained jam lust at thought of cherry maramalade*

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Mon May 10, 2004 8:57 pm

Originally posted by Robnark

*drools with barely contained jam lust at thought of cherry maramalade*

We have a recipe in my family that makes the best cherry marmalade I've ever tasted. I send you a jar when it doesn't cost me $300 to ship it.

Kaitsuburi · Post by **Kaitsuburi** » Mon May 10, 2004 9:32 pm

Thinking about it, the jam makes a HUGE difference, turning even the mediocre toast situation into a feast

Butter too is very important ~~ I've had the best butter in my life in Germany.

-kaitsuburi

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Mon May 10, 2004 10:13 pm

I agree, the quality of the jam is critical. We just bought some very tasty organic raspberry jam (one of those brands in which sugar is *not* the first thing that appears in the list of ingredients) Yum yum...

I also really like a full-bodied, salty cheese over toast, on top of lots of butter... In particular aged Dutch Gouda and Italian Asiago come to mind.

Of course, the bread also matters, my preference is towards something like a homemade or quality bakery sourdough.. *blissful sigh*

Weasel · Post by **Weasel** » Mon May 10, 2004 11:11 pm

Homemade Blueberry Jelly

Marmite (and the other...can't remember name, but I believe it comes from Australia, could be England)

I was told you need to have no taste buds to enjoy.

Gord_the_Rogue · Post by **Gord_the_Rogue** » Tue May 11, 2004 6:09 am

Mmmmmmm... toast. Perhaps the perfect breakfast food. I don't think that my favorite has been mentioned yet, though. Lots of butter, sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar (enough to make it crunchy).

Yum... think I'm going to go have some.

Therion · Post by **Therion** » Tue May 11, 2004 7:32 am

You know why toast may be so popular? Because your bread stinks.

Seriously, Dutch bread (not the mass-produced supermarket variety, though) is soft, tasty and healthy. The best I've ever encountered. Non-toasted much better, because bread loses taste when toasted (reason for my not-so-serious comment above). And preferably brown bread.. healthier and tastier than white bread.

Sorry. Carry on, toast-lovers.

Tosti's on the other hand.. with honey, apple and cinnamon or just plain cheese.. yum.

Robnark · Post by **Robnark** » Tue May 11, 2004 11:38 am

bah! I like good bread, but since we've got a bread machine, I either eat it fresh and warm or toasted. hot bread is good bread.

Kayless · Post by **Kayless** » Tue May 11, 2004 5:28 pm

I like English Muffins better than toast.