Toast
Posted: Mon May 10, 2004 7:34 pm
We all know that there is a Right Way to eat toast, and many, many Wrong Ways that serve only to trap the foolish and lead them from the true path to Crispy Bread Paradise. But how does one find the right combinations? How to avoid the pitfalls of low-fat spreads and squeezable dairy products?
fear not, for now you can share the good news! the lazy path to gourmet delight shall unfold before us.
but first, a summary of the most common styles:
Butter
should be applied liberally and melted in. almost unbearably good, but in quantity, the lack of distinct flavour can leave one feeling unfulfilled. use with good, slightly soft toast. when toasting, put aside at least half a round of plain buttered.
Jams, Jellies and other Preserves
Jam is most satisfactory in a sticky, breakfasty way, but you want something very fruity and not overly sweetened to get the most enjoyment. on the downside, the fruit can hinder spreadability. jelly is better in that respect, and generally more managable, yet the lack of fruit can render it rather bland compared to a full-bodied jam.
Marmalade is distinct as an almost solely breakfast preserve, with it's slightly runny consistency and the cheeky citric bite of the peel, but I've never been a fan, personally.
Marmite
a Real spread for Real people, marmite is the choice of one who wants flavour, and wants their toast to have impact, to let you know "yes! I'm awake, and by God, I've Breakfasted!"
those in the know have it without butter, and applied to the second side of the toast before grilling - which may be tricky in a toaster - for concentrated transcendant flavour. as you may have guessed, it's a personal favourite.
Honey
a whole world of toasting by itself, honey offers many distinct experiences, from the pale, smooth sugary goo that seems to get everywhere, to dark, rich, bitter honeys with unique flavours, to opaque, pale, crystallised honey with a juicy sweetness. the stickiness can be a problem, especially on bread with large air pockets and a danger of seepage.
Chocolate spread
evil evil, evil. it embodies the little demon that sits on your shoulder and tells you to gargle the sweet, sweet sulphuric acid. sure, it seems like a good idea at the time, and you know you can't not do it. but one day you'll explain to your grandchildren - by means of a computer speaking thingy - why it was you had to have your larynx removed.
in the interest of fairness, chocolate spread might not be deadly, acidic, carcenogenic or the devils sputum, but it might be. think on.
Cheese
well, a whole meal by itself, and many different cheeses and combinations. some like soft cheeses spread on afterwards, some the squeezable kind, but I will be dealing with the bubbling, browning, steaming blanket that covers the slice, and the many accompaniments.
-meats
thin, sliced meats such as ham, and so forth add an extra dimension to the toast, some real substance. on the other hand they're dead animal flesh, but then you probably wouldn't hav liked th animal itself anyway. they tend to smell funny.
-'base' sauces
tomato puree may be applied as a base - directly onto the toast, beneath the cheese - as can chilli sauce, brown sauce, barbeque sauce and many others. these sauces are usually thick and add a lot of flavour to the toast, but would be scorched if left on top. personally I'm a chilli sauce man, but there is a huge range that can be explored
-topping sauces
tobasco and worcestershire spring to mind - thin, flavoursome sauces which permeate the entire slice for added flavour without much added substance - or effort.
contributions/hate mail/worship? post it.
fear not, for now you can share the good news! the lazy path to gourmet delight shall unfold before us.
but first, a summary of the most common styles:
Butter
should be applied liberally and melted in. almost unbearably good, but in quantity, the lack of distinct flavour can leave one feeling unfulfilled. use with good, slightly soft toast. when toasting, put aside at least half a round of plain buttered.
Jams, Jellies and other Preserves
Jam is most satisfactory in a sticky, breakfasty way, but you want something very fruity and not overly sweetened to get the most enjoyment. on the downside, the fruit can hinder spreadability. jelly is better in that respect, and generally more managable, yet the lack of fruit can render it rather bland compared to a full-bodied jam.
Marmalade is distinct as an almost solely breakfast preserve, with it's slightly runny consistency and the cheeky citric bite of the peel, but I've never been a fan, personally.
Marmite
a Real spread for Real people, marmite is the choice of one who wants flavour, and wants their toast to have impact, to let you know "yes! I'm awake, and by God, I've Breakfasted!"
those in the know have it without butter, and applied to the second side of the toast before grilling - which may be tricky in a toaster - for concentrated transcendant flavour. as you may have guessed, it's a personal favourite.
Honey
a whole world of toasting by itself, honey offers many distinct experiences, from the pale, smooth sugary goo that seems to get everywhere, to dark, rich, bitter honeys with unique flavours, to opaque, pale, crystallised honey with a juicy sweetness. the stickiness can be a problem, especially on bread with large air pockets and a danger of seepage.
Chocolate spread
evil evil, evil. it embodies the little demon that sits on your shoulder and tells you to gargle the sweet, sweet sulphuric acid. sure, it seems like a good idea at the time, and you know you can't not do it. but one day you'll explain to your grandchildren - by means of a computer speaking thingy - why it was you had to have your larynx removed.
in the interest of fairness, chocolate spread might not be deadly, acidic, carcenogenic or the devils sputum, but it might be. think on.
Cheese
well, a whole meal by itself, and many different cheeses and combinations. some like soft cheeses spread on afterwards, some the squeezable kind, but I will be dealing with the bubbling, browning, steaming blanket that covers the slice, and the many accompaniments.
-meats
thin, sliced meats such as ham, and so forth add an extra dimension to the toast, some real substance. on the other hand they're dead animal flesh, but then you probably wouldn't hav liked th animal itself anyway. they tend to smell funny.
-'base' sauces
tomato puree may be applied as a base - directly onto the toast, beneath the cheese - as can chilli sauce, brown sauce, barbeque sauce and many others. these sauces are usually thick and add a lot of flavour to the toast, but would be scorched if left on top. personally I'm a chilli sauce man, but there is a huge range that can be explored
-topping sauces
tobasco and worcestershire spring to mind - thin, flavoursome sauces which permeate the entire slice for added flavour without much added substance - or effort.
contributions/hate mail/worship? post it.
