Things a Morrowind NPC would never actually say

fable · Post by **fable** » Mon May 17, 2004 7:47 pm

An ordinator: "Hey, nice armor! You get that from one of the boys? Right! Care to do lunch?"

A dremora: "No, don't mind me. Go right ahead and steal from my shrine. I mean, that's what it's here for, right? You never come by for any other reason, you never call..."

unregisturd · Post by **unregisturd** » Mon May 17, 2004 9:09 pm

Head of a guild: "Crap! I think I just pooped my pants!"
Like that?
Golden Saint: "Does this helmet make me look fat?"

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Mon May 17, 2004 9:23 pm

Golden Saint: "Yet another intrepid fool wanting to steal my soul, why must I perpetually suffer such imbeciles?"

fable · Post by **fable** » Mon May 17, 2004 9:26 pm

Lord Vivec: "Hey, Smilin' Joe Vivec, here! And have I got some previously owned guars to show you...!"

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Mon May 17, 2004 10:16 pm

Ogrim: "Hey puny adventurer stop laughing at my size, I'm just big-boned!"

Monolith · Post by **Monolith** » Tue May 18, 2004 9:25 am

Any NPC: "Dude, can you show me the way to a toilet or some thick bushes?"

Seyda Neen's Tax Collector: "( put in here anything you want)"

Gwalchmai · Post by **Gwalchmai** » Tue May 18, 2004 9:30 am

Any NPC, panicked: "Where have all the children gone?"

Any NPC: "I just want to go home and go to bed.... Why must I continually walk around out here?"

Monolith · Post by **Monolith** » Tue May 18, 2004 9:33 am

Originally posted by Gwalchmai
Any NPC, panicked: "Where have all the children gone?"

Any NPC: "I just want to go home and go to bed.... Why must I continually walk around out here?"

LOL two things I wanted to add, too.

Any Guild-Master: "I wanted to send you to the other side of Vvardenfell...but hey, I'm not such an a**. Get me a cup of coffee and that's it..."

fable · Post by **fable** » Tue May 18, 2004 9:35 am

Archmagister Gothren: "Hi, I'm not Gothren of House Telvanni, but I play him on tv. If like me, you suffer from the daily pain of arthritis, then consider buying..."

lifeishell91 · Post by **lifeishell91** » Tue May 18, 2004 10:07 am

Flame Artronach: AAAAAAHHHH!!!! I'M ON FIRE!!!!!

Any NPC: Now where can I get a nice hot cup of coffee? Oh, wait, they havn't been invented yet...oops.

irish37130 · Post by **irish37130** » Tue May 18, 2004 10:16 am

Any NPC--"Well, ya see Timmy, We in VVerdenfall have the best Community Watch Program of all. We NEVER go to bed. We just keep an eye out for thieves all day and all night."

Usually followed with, "Hey man, where's that Khajit when I need him. I can't stay awake any longer without some more good moon sugar!"

Any guild master to another, "Oh good, another adventurer ready to walk across the continent doing jobs that Fed Ex would find humiliating. I bet I can get him to do something more stupid than you!"

Monolith · Post by **Monolith** » Tue May 18, 2004 10:37 am

Yea, looks like I'm the trend setter in this thread

Vivec to a guard: "I bet you've never touched a divinity befor, have you? Want to scrub my back?"

fable · Post by **fable** » Tue May 18, 2004 10:49 am

Arrille: "Sorry, we're closed, today. My son's bar mitzvah."

(Hope I spelt that right!)

Locutus · Post by **Locutus** » Tue May 18, 2004 10:55 am

Fargoth: Im strait...no really, I AM.....

lifeishell91 · Post by **lifeishell91** » Tue May 18, 2004 11:35 am

Originally posted by Locutus
Fargoth: Im strait...no really, I AM.....

Sorry Locutus but that was kinda mean. I mean you pretty much insulted all gay guys in this forum

And thats just pretty damn low.

And no, this isn't a joke

lifeishell91 · Post by **lifeishell91** » Tue May 18, 2004 11:43 am

Daedroth:

"NO I'm not really an alligator, please no, don't turn me into a handbag or a pair of shoes...no...please...NO! AHH!!"
*Dies of Trauma*

LOL!

irish37130 · Post by **irish37130** » Tue May 18, 2004 12:07 pm

"You know what this countryside needs? More cliffracers!"

Sarrin Khane · Post by **Sarrin Khane** » Tue May 18, 2004 12:33 pm

Casius Cosades "Who took my shirt?"

Fer'or · Post by **Fer'or** » Tue May 18, 2004 12:47 pm

Any NPC: "If only my parents teached me how to handle a doorknob."

tabooey · Post by **tabooey** » Tue May 18, 2004 1:00 pm

"I spoke to Michael Eisner about that new Red Mountain water park..."

"The new issue of PlayOrc just hit the stands!!!