New (and improved!) ways to prove you're right!

Opalescence · Post by **Opalescence** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 8:53 pm

I've seen many, many very "unique" ways that people have come up with to prove their point

. Here are some of my favorites (be sure to post yours!):

Proof by Burst of Outrage:
"YOU DON'T THINK IT'S TRUE?!! WELL SHOW ME A COUNTEREXAMPLE, WHY DON'T YOU?!!"

Proof by Relentless Insistance:
"It's true! I swear it's true! It is, it is, it is!!!!"

Proof by Non Sequitar:
"And so, we derive that x is equal to 7. My uncle got hit by a truck yesterday. He was put up for a week. We had feed him his meals through a straw. Anyway, QED."

Proof by Ad Hominum:
"And so, we derive that x squared is divisible by four. By the way, you're a moron who's got the brains of a pea and [expletives deleted]."

Proof by Superior Education:
"I went to Harvard. I'm right."
ALSO
"I'm a teacher and I say so. You want to contradict me? That's three days detention for you, young man/woman!"

Proof by Circumloqution:
"And so, because A implies B, but B implies A only on the condition that C implies A, which also implies D when B implies C on alternate Sundays, I should get more credit on this homework problem."

Proof by Boredom:
And while x determines the prime factors of y, we cannot allow ourselves to be confused by the fact that z is not a factor of either x or y, and so therefore
...
...
(8 pages later)
And so, since you're probably asleep by now, I derive that x = y.

Witch King · Post by **Witch King** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 9:09 pm

my favorite is:

Proof By Googling Speed.

CopperWater · Post by **CopperWater** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 10:52 pm

I just usual call people ButtHeads then walk off. If they dont prove me wrong, I am right.

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 11:48 pm

Proof by Fiat: "Argue with me one more time, and you get 30 days, instead of 10."

Proof by Might: "Say a word, and you die."

Proof by Redefinition: "I define 52% of any vote for me as a mandate, so there's a mandate against your views. You lose."

Proof by Religious Investment: "You're wrong and you're damned to HELL, and I know this, because I know The Good Book, and God Tells Me So!"

Proof by Nationality: "My country makes more in a day than yours does in a year. So I win this argument, whatever else you say."

Proof by Teen Years: "You're stupid, because you're adult. You don't understand anything."

Proof by Age: "You're children. You can't think. When you grow up, you can be right."

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 3:17 am

Proof by faulty logics: "My opinion = -Your opinion and Your opinion = -Truth so my opinion = Truth.

Proof by silly metaphore: "But then it is like a hawk and an elephant. The hawk can not carry the elephant. It is the same with [whatever we are debating], so I am right."

Proof by emotionality: "If you don't agree with me I will become very sad. You don't have the right to make me sad, therefor you must agree."

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 4:40 am

[QUOTE=fable]Proof by Teen Years: "You're stupid, because you're adult. You don't understand anything."

Proof by Age: "You're children. You can't think. When you grow up, you can be right."[/QUOTE]

I just realized the other day that in my youth, I possessed greater understanding. I now understand why children know more. As you age, you forget what you once knew.

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:18 am

[QUOTE=Chanak]I just realized the other day that in my youth, I possessed greater understanding. I now understand why children know more. As you age, you forget what you once knew.

[/QUOTE]

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned." -Sam Clemens (Mark Twain)

Zelgadis · Post by **Zelgadis** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:53 am

How To Be Persuasive

ik911 · Post by **ik911** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 9:29 am

[QUOTE=Zelgadis]How To Be Persuasive

[/QUOTE]

LOL

(stands on chair) It was funny!!!!

fable · Post by **fable** » Fri Feb 18, 2005 9:36 am

Proof by smear: "I heard how you got taken but good in divorce court. How can anybody believe anything an idiot like you says?"

Proof by smear once-removed: "I hear your sister was put away for some disorder or other. Guess it runs in the family, huh?"

Proof by dead weight: "Brubantius, Frommage, Caletius Major, and Snoopus Canine have all spoken to the matter, and there's nothing more to be said."

Proof by verbal abuse: "WELL, ****** YOU, *******, YOU ******** AND ******* ***** AND ANOTHER THING, YOU ***** ******* *** *******, SO WHAT DYA THINK THAT, HUH??????"

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 4:16 pm

Black/White Proof : "I oppose terrorists, If you don't agree with me you like terrorists. Terrorists are never right, so you must be wrong."

Proof by obscurity: "Cats are a type of dog. Obviously, when I say dog I don't really mean dog, I mean more like animal with 4 legs. Cats have 4 legs, therefore cats are a type of dog."

Opalescence · Post by **Opalescence** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 12:49 am

Some more proofs from good ol' Opal! Here's some SYM inspired ones:

fable's Override
I have giveth 20 million links that say you are wrong. Therefore, you're wrong. Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

Fas' Blind Faith
Weasel/COMM says so. QED.

Bloodstalker's Disjunction
According to case file number five trillion and three, I am right. Therefore, I am right. CIA.

Now I've got to go read some more arguments on SYM to get some more proof styles to add to me list! Post some if you got em!

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 1:10 am

The Aegis Method
What did you say? SLAP *Fish connects with poster* Yeah, that's what I thought...

Brynn · Post by **Brynn** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:19 am

Opal: LOL

Now that Aegis has his own method, too, I feel the urge to creat mine, too..

Brynn's Method:
Come on, handsome, you don't really mean I'm wrong, do you?

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:23 am

[QUOTE=Brynn]Brynn's Method:
Come on, handsome, you don't really mean I'm wrong, do you?

[/QUOTE]
Yes. Yes I do.

Macleod1701 · Post by **Macleod1701** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 4:42 am

The Drunk Method - yuuurrrr a bloody liar.......that wus mysh pint/woman/idea/thing.....oh really.....well I'm goings to be shick in/on/over it/them/you so you wont be dissa....dis....saying I'm wzong then.

The Female method - Your disagreeing with me! You don't love me anymore! Oh you do? Well then I'm right then aren't I!

frogus23 · Post by **frogus23** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 5:00 am

I was impressed how long the Sailor Saturn method worked.

Sailor Saturn Method:
Being a cartoon character I need not possess many common characteristics such as consistency or opinion. But I do possess God, whom I can channel through CAPS. QED.

The Kropotkin Method:
Murder ONLY happens because it is illegal. Observe the barleyfield! Howe loathsome is a society in which the denegration of pernicious malnutrients permeates the oppressive tools of overlords and disambivalations! Does the free man not kill? Does the free man not die? Observe the high winds. QED

Vicsun · Post by **Vicsun** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:44 am

Proof by anecdote:
My friend Bob is X and does Y, so we can infer that all X do Y.

fable · Post by **fable** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:48 am

[QUOTE=Opalescence]Some more proofs from good ol' Opal! Here's some SYM inspired ones:

fable's Override
I have giveth 20 million links that say you are wrong. Therefore, you're wrong. Quod Erat Demonstrandum.[/QUOTE]

"Have giveth" is grammatically incorrect, in the above. As you will discover if you read this. Quod erat, un so weiter.

A few more proofs:

Proof by location: "The subject is Richard Plantagenet, I live in England, you live in Costa Rica, therefore I know far more than you about this."

Proof by personal anecdote: "Sure, you can throw all the facts at me that you want, but I know a guy who knows someone else who actually spoke with the babysitter who overheard the cop's wife describing a scam, so I *know* welfare doesn't work!"

Proof by mental shielding: "Yeah, sure. Riiiight."

Proof by Internet vacation: "You've proved I'm wrong, but I'm going to leave now and return in a month, when I can reiterate what I've said and make believe your response never happened."

giles337 · Post by **giles337** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 11:12 am

I have a dragon and im not afraid to use it?

Ok... so it's Brynn's dragon.... but she'll lend it to me.... right? RIGHT?