The Cynics Corner Club (spam only on topic please)
Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 12:21 pm
I have a special fondness for HL Mencken's cynicism, so I decided to start a thread dedicated to cynical quotes. 
Of course, there are plenty of other noteworthy cynics, and I invite you introduce them. The citations I have listed below, however, are solely those of Mencken
Here are some I find especially choice
*A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
*A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
*All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
*An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
*Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.
*Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
*Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.
*Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.
*It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
*It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
*Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists.
*Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
*Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.
*Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
*There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity for happiness.
*Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
*The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
*To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!
*The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
*The worst government is the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
Of course, there are plenty of other noteworthy cynics, and I invite you introduce them. The citations I have listed below, however, are solely those of MenckenHere are some I find especially choice
*A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
*A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
*All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
*An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
*Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.
*Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
*Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard.
*Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.
*It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
*It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
*Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists.
*Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
*Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.
*Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
*There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity for happiness.
*Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
*The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
*To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!
*The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
*The worst government is the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.