Some Ways to Know That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life
*Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* letterhead.
*You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.
*You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with laser printers.
*You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.
*You disdain people who use low band widths.
*When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
*You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.
*You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.
*You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number.
*You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number", since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.
*You sign Christmas cards by putting next to your signature.
*Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than
*You back up your data every day.
*Your wife asks you to pick up some mini notepads for her at the store and you return with a rest for your mouse.
*You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.
*On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.
*The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely enters your mind.
*You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts.
*You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you cannot give someone directions to your house without looking up the street names.
*You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
*You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information about the product it is selling.
*You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a- quarter-and three-and-a-half-inch sizes.
*You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know where they are.
*While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old.
*You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.
*You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
*You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions about which is better -- the track ball or the track *pad*.
*You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.
*You e-mail this message to your friends over the net. You'd never get around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face.
Spoiler
testingtest12
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. Spoiler
testingtest12
.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain.
*You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up. (noticed the embarrassed smilie?)
[size=-1]An optimist is a badly informed pessimist.[/size]
*You e-mail this message to your friends over the net.
Every "tech-savvy" (hey, I just used a buzz-word) person I know flies in a fit of rage whenever they receive yet another FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:RE:RE:FW: Hey check out this list of things that is really funny and not at all worn out or from 1998 oh who am I kidding it's as worn out as worn out can be email. Needless to say, I forward every chain-mail I receive to them. Extra irony points if the email is supposed to relate to them somehow.
I'm also uncertain as to whether I've heard the phrase "information superhighway" used without irony attached to it outside of badly informed newspaper columns.
Vicsun, I certainly agree with your assertion that you are an unpleasant person.~Chanak
oh god....i'm addicted to the internet...hmm..good thing i got alot goin on right now though!!!! maybe i'll stop being addicted!!
[QUOTE=Magrus]
Lesson of the Day:
Making up with someone after a nasty argument can be all sorts of fun, but leave you ridiculously sore and in need of bandages. Remember, band-aids are a kinky man's best friend late at night.
*You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.
What about a palm pilot.
Actually, I think I might get another one of these gizmos ( ). Do they beep or buzz or do tricks?
*You e-mail this message to your friends over the net. You'd never get around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face.
I have a feeling that this has gone through the lab board more than once.
Buy a GameBanshee T-Shirt [url="http://www.gamebanshee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=68975"]HERE[/url]! Sabre's [url="http://www.users.bigpond.com/qtnt/index.htm"]site[/url] for Baldur's Gate series' patches and items. This has been a Drive-by Hilling.
I omnce tried to stop spamming once, I lasted 3 hours . I guess Im addicted
[url=tamriel-rebuilt.org]Tamriel Rebuilt and,[/url] [url="http://z13.invisionfree.com/Chus_Mod_Forum/index.php?"]My Mod Fansite[/url] I am the Lord of Programming, and your Mother Board, and your RAR Unpacker, and Your Runtime Engine, can tell you all about it
Hmmm.. well I think they are similar..
In one case, somebody is trying to illegally purchase something.. In the other.. somebody is trying to illegally sell something...
Somehow... the thought of Chu selling things on a street corner brings to mind a scene in the game Baldur's Gate Two... The point at which you encounter a gnome called Jan Jansen who is trying to illegally hawk "flasher bruiser mates"
Spoiler
testingtest12
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. Spoiler
testingtest12
.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain.
[QUOTE=dragon wench]Agreed.. He has a very bad habit of running about blowing peoples' horns.. There's no telling the havoc he could cause... [/QUOTE]
Ill escape one of these days, and no longer haunt the moanful hills of the Spam Factory!
*opens coat*
Wnna by some Spam? How about a Factory? Drag Racing Fuel?
[url=tamriel-rebuilt.org]Tamriel Rebuilt and,[/url] [url="http://z13.invisionfree.com/Chus_Mod_Forum/index.php?"]My Mod Fansite[/url] I am the Lord of Programming, and your Mother Board, and your RAR Unpacker, and Your Runtime Engine, can tell you all about it
[QUOTE=Mr Sleep]You forgot the one about living with someone that you met over the internet, a process that would not be possible without technology.[/QUOTE]
Very good point. I wonder if say 10 or 15 years from now when meeting a partner this way has become much more commonplace, if people will scratch their heads and wonder how anyone managed to ever hook up before.
An extremely disturbing thought actually...
Spoiler
testingtest12
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. Spoiler
testingtest12
.......All those moments ... will be lost ... in time ... like tears in rain.
