Thought I'd share this one...maybe it'll help to liven GB up in it's dead times...
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never
let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) By
maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in c0ckpit.
S: Something tightened in c0ckpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in c0ckpit.
S: Cat installed ..
And the best one for last.................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
I chuckled, but just for clarity, Qantas's oft claimed "never had an accident" is actually never had a hull-loss accident. A hull-loss accident is what the industry uses to determine "accident" frequency. Qantas has had a number of serious incidents including one in Thialand where a 747 overran the runway and was repaired at a cost suspected to be in excess of its replacement value. The reason for the costly repair, to maintain the no hull loss record.
It is still an enviable safety record. - Curdis !
The warlord sig of 's' - word
Making a reappearance for those who have a sig even longer
[quote="Dilbert]That's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard[/quote]
[quote=Waverly]You all suck donkeys[/quote]
[quote={deleted after legal threats}]I am so not a drama queen![/quote"]
Hahahaha :laugh: :laugh: good find rav, gave me a chuckle on what has otherwise been a depressing sunday ...
I take it qantas is an Australian airline? I've never heard of 'em before..
"Be thankful you're healthy." "Be bitter you're not going to stay that way."
"Be glad you're even alive." "Be furious you're going to die."
"Things could be much worse." "They could be one hell of a lot better."
[QUOTE=Ravager]And the best one for last.................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget[/color][/QUOTE]
So, thats where he went... *calls the Oompa Loompa Retrieval Squad*
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. Voltaire
[QUOTE=Xandax]Color me purple and call me barney.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=TonyMontana1638]
I take it qantas is an Australian airline? I've never heard of 'em before..[/QUOTE]
Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services Limited
Queensland and Northen Territory are both states of Australia, which is also why the logo is a kangaroo.
And that's interesting Curdis about the whole crash record, I'll have to remember that.
In memorian: Fiona; Ravager; Lestat; Phreddie; and all of those from the 1500 incident. Lest we forget.
Nice find Rav. I...er... enjoyed the evidence one.
Buy a GameBanshee T-Shirt [url="http://www.gamebanshee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=68975"]HERE[/url]! Sabre's [url="http://www.users.bigpond.com/qtnt/index.htm"]site[/url] for Baldur's Gate series' patches and items. This has been a Drive-by Hilling.
WOOT! Nicely done, that woke me up with a buzz of laughter.
Listen up maggots, Mr. Popo's 'bout to teach you the pecking order.
It goes you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Kami, then Popo.
~Mr. Popo, Dragonball Z Abridged
I just noticed this, I think I've seen it somewhere before. Really funny either way. :laugh:
"You can do whatever you want to me." "Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in the warehouse at the end of Raiders?" "So funny, kiss me funny boy!" / *Sprays mace* " I know, I know, bad for the ozone"
Yeah buddy. I think I'm going home friday, need my SYM fix for the rest of the month.
"You can do whatever you want to me." "Oh, so I can crate you and hide you in the warehouse at the end of Raiders?" "So funny, kiss me funny boy!" / *Sprays mace* " I know, I know, bad for the ozone"
