Hell: As Explained by a Chemistry Student

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 5:47 pm

The following is (apparently) an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+!

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 6:39 pm

:laugh:

:laugh:

Quality find DW, congrats. The logic here is impeccable, either, as the student stated, Hell will eventually become nonexistant, or we will the the equivalent of most of the apocalyptic games we play. *Cough* Hellgate *Cough*

Oh, and if Teresa really exists, she must be mad as, uh, Hell.

P.S. I forsee the arrival of more bad puns.

sparky_kat · Post by **sparky_kat** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 6:47 pm

LMAO! i just woke up my son cause i laughed to loud at the last part of the post. OMG, lol. i would certainly hope that the student got an A+ for the answer, total origionality that stays on subjuct with much humor!

:laugh:
*still snickering*

Soontir Fel · Post by **Soontir Fel** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 6:56 pm

Pretty good answer for a pretty psycho question. But he left out the part that there can be "Hell on Earth" and Teresa is the Devil!:mischief:

Loki[D.d.G] · Post by **Loki[D.d.G]** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 7:33 pm

Pretty good? In my opinion, that answer was brilliant as Hell.

Claudius · Post by **Claudius** » Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:23 pm

My dad always tells the story he heard in grad school of a psychology exam where the only question on the exam was...

1. Why?

The only student who got an A on the exam put...."Why not?"

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:12 pm

*grins*

Demortis · Post by **Demortis** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 1:03 pm

Leave it to DW to find something like this to post for the betterment of all:laugh::laugh::laugh:

Craig · Post by **Craig** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:31 pm

It's good, but I've seen it before =p

Aztaroth · Post by **Aztaroth** » Fri Mar 28, 2008 7:59 pm

Brilliant, but yes, somewhat old.

On the regrettably off topic subject of witty answers to test questions, there was supposedly a Finnish exam here where one of the essay subjects was "What's the boldest thing you've ever done?" and someone answered "This.", and received a perfect grade.

I can't even fathom the sheer balls it takes to do that

thantor3 · Post by **thantor3** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 1:22 am

Cute. However, if the temperature and pressure in Hell is dropping, then I believe that would mean that Hell is endothermic, not exothermic as this author suggests. Hopefully, CE will weigh in on this. That would suggest an alternative (and more plausible) ending:

"If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that she would sleep with me only "when Hell freezes over," and taking into account the fact that I have not yet succeeded in that area, then possibility 2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic."

Regardless, the author's wanton disregard for fact and logic, combined with a significant messiah complex and an overdeveloped capacity for fantasy, suggests that he is clearly a cogno-terrorist who is subtly attempting to undermine both chemistry and religion. That is, given that this person actually existed and is not a diabolic creation of DW.

In the end, the only thing that was proven here is that Hell is other people.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:31 am

lol! Than

I don't know how real any of this actually is, but I certainly didn't create it, my slightly crazy aunt (in a good way) over in Britain passed it along

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:47 am

The Most Holy of Holies!

I say it's Weasel's fault. :laugh:

@Than: Nice to see you around, Doc!

Dottie · Post by **Dottie** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 2:59 am

thantor3 wrote:Cute. However, if the temperature and pressure in Hell is dropping, then I believe that would mean that Hell is endothermic, not exothermic as this author suggests. Hopefully, CE will weigh in on this.

I'm not CE, but I'm quite sure you are correct, unless hell isn't thermally isolated which might be a possibility.

Claudius · Post by **Claudius** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 9:11 am

Oh no I just realized I forgot 99% of thermo haha