Things a Morrowind NPC would never actually say

Audiomaster4565 · Post by **Audiomaster4565** » Sun Nov 30, 2008 3:32 pm

actually in blood moon i never actually thought i would have heard this but I've heard countless times form Nords... "my teeth itch"!!!!!!!!!! How could you're teeth itch!??

guard:spread em

Dagoth Ur: I love you

Lucian Falke · Post by **Lucian Falke** » Sun Dec 07, 2008 6:38 am

Lord Vivec, to the player character..
"Dammit! You're the eleventh person to come through that door today!"

Sheogorath, to the player character..
"See that gargantuan netch over there? No, not the one.. the one the size of a silt strider. Yeah, that one. I want you to take this dinner fork, and.. wait. Okay, you know what? I'm really freakin' busy with these TPS reports, and I just don't have time for shenanigans today. The spears over there on the table. Don't put your eye out."

Dagoth Ur, to the player charter..
"NO! YOU FOOL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! ST- Oh, hey hit it again.. One more time? ... Oh damn, I'm diggin' that beat, man. Keep hitting it. Aw hell yeah. Keep it going, I'm gonna FRAPS this sh*t!"

Sain · Post by **Sain** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 9:03 pm

Shopkeepers:Huh, What happened to all my gold?(After exploiting merchentle, cant spell)
Any Questgiving Npc: Let me deicently reward you for helping me.

ShaddyK · Post by **ShaddyK** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:39 pm

Nord leg wielding Udyrfrykte: NO! This is MY dinner! GO AWAY! *swats*
same Udyrfrykte: Tastes just like chicken~
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Tarhiel: I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky! I believe i can soa- AAAH HIIHIIHIIAAAAAAAyOOOO!!! *splat*

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and, NPCs say the strangest things when you're invisible or chameleoned.

I've had Tharsten Heart-Fang say "For God's sake don't eat the skin! You don't know where it's been!"
Also a few Nords on Solthsteim: "HA! Cold? You think THIS is COLD? Try Skyrim. Now THAT'S cold!"
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Various Werewolves and NPC's in the game when PC is in werewolf form: I've got a bone for you! Come and get it~

sorry for long post ^_^;

C-K'R[PhoEniX] · Post by **C-K'R[PhoEniX]** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:25 am

ShaddyK wrote: Tarhiel: I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky! I believe i can soa- AAAH HIIHIIHIIAAAAAAAyOOOO!!! *splat*

Actually that part made me giggle, you nailed that silly cry/laughter.

Dagoth_shel · Post by **Dagoth_shel** » Fri Jan 30, 2009 4:14 pm

Character: -walks into Dagoth Ur.-

Dagoth Ur: -over intercom- Shel! Come on dowwwwn! The price is right...for you to die!

I ignore this and continue walking.

Dagoth: Seriously, I'm talking to you!! Hey!! HEY!! Stop killing my ash zombies!! Clean up on aisle 7.., clean up on aisle 7, Jeff.

-after some consideration, I continue traipsing through-

DAgoth: I'd really like to see you... please come down here? I have candy...

Diduicsigreczet · Post by **Diduicsigreczet** » Sat Jun 06, 2009 4:35 am

Dagoth Ur telling his zombies to run away : "Get away, get to the chopper, aaarrrghhh"

Kinda stupid, but its funny ^_^

Benk · Post by **Benk** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:35 pm

Riddle giving Atronarch: "OK, this next question is for £32,000. You still have three lifelines remaining. And we'll be back after this break, don't go away."

Benk · Post by **Benk** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:39 pm

Lord Vivec: "Yeah, what...floating? So, screw the laws of Physics, it my enormous city with ensuite floating rock. I can repeatedly float, and stop floating over and over for all of eternity if I want."

Benk · Post by **Benk** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:42 pm

Mudcrab Merchant: "*hic* Christ, what the hell ish in the water around here. I've been hammered *hic* for yearsh."

Benk · Post by **Benk** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:44 pm

Any Telvanni: "What the f*** happened to my stairs?!"

Benk · Post by **Benk** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:49 pm

Divayth Fyr: "Yeah, so you saw my big hole full of freaks, I collect them...Man I need to get out more."

Benk · Post by **Benk** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 3:53 pm

Outcast Ashlander: "Why were we cast out, what's wrong with us...Oh hey look a nice merchant selling kittens...DIE FETCHER! Sorry about that...where were we?"

Benk · Post by **Benk** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:00 pm

Crassius Curio: "Come on Dumpling, don't be shy, show Uncle Crassius...Oh Geez dude, I wanted to see your ID, what the hell?"

Benk · Post by **Benk** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:03 pm

Ordinator: "Oh my god, Daedric armor is like, so out. Indoril armor is all the rage in Cyrodil."

fable · Post by **fable** » Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:19 pm

Please use the edit button in posts so near each other in the future, okay?

One post will do.

Benk · Post by **Benk** » Fri Jun 12, 2009 2:45 pm

fable wrote:Please use the edit button in posts so near each other in the future, okay? One post will do.

Ye sorry about that, I'm new and unfamiliar will the processes.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri Jun 12, 2009 6:24 pm

First Guard encountered at the Seyda Neen docks:
"OK, if I have to tell one more mangy, stinking, underfed and flea-bitten prisoner that they'll fit right in I swear.. I'm going to murder that prancing nitwit, Socucius Ergalla!"

Second Guard: "You have to understand, it's all about marketing, if we tell them they'll hate it, they'll never turn into the canon fodder they're so obviously designed for."

@Benk,
lol! Those are great...

Welcome to Game Banshee... er.. I'm sure you'll fit right in..

lupisprime · Post by **lupisprime** » Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:07 am

any npc ashlander:"Hay um say....how the heck did you manage to find this god forsaken place?we are a weeks walk from any where, theres a giant blight storm blowing around and you just decided to go for a walk in the....oh you guildmaster sent yah.............(walks away)"

Any NPC as player jumps around trying to rais acrobatics:"THIS IS NOT HALO:laugh:!"

Beastmistress · Post by **Beastmistress** » Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:40 pm

Dagoth Ur: I had a dream; a chicken in every pot, AND A CAP IN EVERY @#&!

(I appologize if what I posted is inappropriate)