INtelligence Debriefing
Located here in the
COMM Intelligence Agency's headquarters are perhaps the most extensive, up-to-date, and damaging files ever to be assembled in one place. These files are so full of dirt that I had to spend most of my first day on the job digging them up out of the back yard. Fortunately, Weasel left me detailed instructions as to their precise location, thereby saving me the hassle of dealing with all of those corpse... oh, I mean preventing me from from having to disturb all of those pretty perennials...in the grounds of the Safehouse. *ahem*
In this, the first Intelligence debriefing, I shall share snippets from the dossiers of some of SYMs more famous personalities. Mind you, this is not by any means a complete revelation, *
nor is it even the tip of the iceberg, heh heh* so if you find that you are not mentioned here, rest assured that you, too, have your place in the dirt, most likely near the remains of Jimmy Hoffa.
was I supposed to say that?
fable: Almighty Moderator of GB, invested with unparalleled multi-dimensional powers; master of the Force. Is currently suffering from a bout of stress-induced megalomania (diagnosed by C. Elegans).
T'lainya: Moderator, all-around nice person, possibly one of the few sane people here.
Mr Sleep: Moderator, persistent spammer; the kind of bloke you'd hang out with at the pub. Has an overt fondness (
read: weakness. Heh heh heh!) for stout.
dragon wench: Proud matron of the Home for the Derang...er,
Depraved, skilled in the use of bull whips and fuzzy handcuffs; apt pupil of history (specializing in torture devices).
Nippy: Fearless Lord Marshall of
COMM, likes wearing plate mail at his grandmother's house; shameless spammer, tight-fisted dictator; is known to take "naps" near large quantities of empty purple beer bottles.
Thanks @Ode!
Georgi: Britis...HEY!
where's that file? It was here just a second ago!...
Maharlika: Paladin, Holy Knight of the Palanquendi; smooth-talking con-artist of
COMM, a horrible little man that wears a lampshade on his head.
Ode to a Grasshopper: Dauntless gunner of the
Rolling Thunder, purveyor of exquisite elixirs of *ahem* intoxicating finesse; halberd-wielding poster boy of SYM; enjoys drooling, particularly on
Georgi (see above).
C. Elegans: Hyper-intelligent super-being on sabbatical from the Andromeda Galaxy; enjoys football, dissecting brains, and wearing skimpy gold dresses; resident SYM shrink-ologist.
That's all for today's debriefing. If you would be so kind as to clean up your own mess before you leave, the staff would be eternally grateful.
I've already had to give them a raise before they'd clean up after those SLURRites trashed the place! Also, someone left their straitjacket in the coat rack near the front door. Please see our helpful staff on your way out in order to claim it. Thank you.
