Beldin's Driving School

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 2:52 am

Hi @All !

Since I'm the "Proud Driver of the Rolling Thunder (tm) " , I take it upon my humble self to educate the people of SYM in the Art of driving.

First we'll see a short movie of DO'S and DON'T'S :

Driving Lessons : Yes and No .

Afterwards you can ask any questions about driving - and I'll answer them as good as I can....

No worries,

Beldin

Eerhardt · Post by **Eerhardt** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 3:24 am

ROFL - great show, Beldin.
Ok, here's a question: I'm stuck in traffic with a six-pack, a loaded shotgun and a babe in the passenger's seat. What are my options

?

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 3:30 am

Originally posted by Eerhardt
ROFL - great show, Beldin.
Ok, here's a question: I'm stuck in traffic with a six-pack, a loaded shotgun and a babe in the passenger's seat. What are my options ?

1) Since DRINKING and DRIVING is out of the question - you put the babe on the drivers seat, down the sixpack and then take the shotgun and BLOW the living sh** out of the guy responsible for the traffic jam...

2) You put away the sixpack for later use, get the babe to facilitate your needs in a creative and enthusiastic way and then use the shotgun to hold of all the other drivers who want to peek in on you and your babe.....

or 3) You use the shotgun to blow 2 tires of your car, push it over to the sideline, take the babe and the sixpack for a gourmet picnic while looking at all the other cars ...

What would you do ?

No worries,

Beldin

Ode to a Grasshopper · Fri Jul 05, 2002 3:38 am

*Waits for one of the mods to show up breathing fire at option no. 2*

I'm just a simple gunner, no driving for me.

Eerhardt · Post by **Eerhardt** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 3:42 am

I never drink and drive (who would have figured

), looks like I'm looking at option n°1 then [size=0]... and give the babe some sweet lovin' when we get to my place

[/size]

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 3:44 am

LMAO Beldin!
It takes me back to diving lessons!

Ok, real life question here.
What should I do and don't when my girlfriend steps into my car for the first time?

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 3:49 am

Originally posted by Ode to a Grasshopper
*Waits for one of the mods to show up breathing fire at option no. 2*

*whistle*

Edited, PM any problems

Eerhardt · Post by **Eerhardt** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 3:51 am

Nice work, Sleep

. I'm

with it...

Ode to a Grasshopper · Fri Jul 05, 2002 3:55 am

I didn't have any problems with it before, but I must say I'm impressed @Sleep. Not at your prompt appearance and lack of fire-breathing, but that was smoothly done.

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 3:59 am

Darn, no arguments...i don't get to close the thread now

Thanks

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 4:07 am

Originally posted by Rob-hin
LMAO Beldin!
It takes me back to diving lessons!

Ok, real life question here.
What should I do and don't when my girlfriend steps into my car for the first time?

Lets see...

1) DON'T leave anything in the car that you don't want to be found. (i.e. the panties of your last date, the porn mags of your older brother, photos of your ex- GF) ... so CLEAN OUT !

2) DON'T point out the features and/or technical specifics of the car UNLESS SHE ASKS . Don't bore her to tears while explaining WHY your engine is so much better then the same engine from 2 years earlier...

3) DO open the door for her, even if she seems capable of doing it herself. Girls dig attention. By opening the door for her you PLEASE her AND make sure she doesn't scratch your door with her jewelery.

4) DO clean the saftey belt on her side - especially if it hasn't been used for some time. Those b***rds seem to go out and CATCH dirt ! It would put a serious dampener on your relationship if her new bright summer dress has an ugly black stripe running across her - ahem - chest.

5) DO turn down the volume on your Stereo. Girls LIKE to talk in the car, and you WON't really impress her with your 4 x 2500 Watt speakers...you'll drive her away .

6) DO keep some blanket neatly folded (and clean) in the trunk or the backseat - just in case she decides to "go and see the stars on the hilltop" - you DON'T want to spend the rest of the evening with wet and dirty trousers.

7) DON'T swear while driving. I know you do it all the time when on the road, 'cause EVERYONE does it. Just DON'T do it while she's with you. Play it "cool" and impress her with your responsible and lofty attitude on the road.

8) DON'T run over any animals. Just DON'T do it.

9) DON'T fondle her anatomy while driving. You'll get sidetracked and might even crash the car.

and

10) DON'T hand her the keys unless you ABSOLUTELY AND UTTERLY TUST HER to pay for the following damage.

Want more ?

No worries,

Beldin

Ode to a Grasshopper · Fri Jul 05, 2002 4:09 am

You could close down that "My sig" thread, if you need an argument there I'll be happy to help out...

Or how about the I-sage thread? I can bicker in there if you want.

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 4:09 am

Originally posted by Mr Sleep

*whistle* Edited, PM any problems

Nice job Sleepo. I KNEW I could rely on your superior grip on the english language....(Just remember the "Inflamatory comments" incident...it still has me *ROFL* ...

)

No worries,

Beldin

Eerhardt · Post by **Eerhardt** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 4:12 am

on the subject of cleaning the car...

Mr Sleep · Post by **Mr Sleep** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 4:31 am

Originally posted by Ode to a Grasshopper
Or how about the I-sage thread? I can bicker in there if you want.

LOL

@Beldin, i am sure you could do the same in German

A question for you: Say one crashed into someone but the other person didn't indicate...months later they claim you owe them money and they did indicate...what do you do? Full Story

Ode to a Grasshopper · Fri Jul 05, 2002 4:38 am

Originally posted by Mr Sleep

LOL

@Beldin, i am sure you could do the same in German

A question for you: Say one crashed into someone but the other person didn't indicate...months later they claim you owe them money and they did indicate...what do you do? Full Story

This is where the shotgun comes into things again...

Rob-hin · Post by **Rob-hin** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 4:55 am

We all know violens doesn't solve a thing!

Though kicking some butt can make you feel better for a while... I know I always feel better hitting my keyboard when my pc freezes again.

Beldin · Post by **Beldin** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 5:31 am

Originally posted by Mr Sleep

LOL

@Beldin, i am sure you could do the same in German

A question for you: Say one crashed into someone but the other person didn't indicate...months later they claim you owe them money and they did indicate...what do you do? Full Story

Sue him. Or talk to your insurance and let THEM do the sueing.
I wouldn't pay a penny if it wasn't my fault. My sense of justice won't permit that...

And if something along those lines happens again - get everything in writing...I for example ALWAYS fill out the European Insurance Form according to the rules set by the CEA .

EDIT - I can't find the form in the english version just now - but here it is in French/German/Italian : Form.

No worries,
Beldin

Obsidian · Post by **Obsidian** » Fri Jul 05, 2002 5:06 pm

barely 2 pages and a half dozen links. WOW.

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Sat Jul 06, 2002 10:04 pm

I'm not surprised COMMrade...

Originally posted by Obsidian
barely 2 pages and a half dozen links. WOW.

...since this thread's author isn't called the linkmaster for nothing.

I remember my brother when he first took the wheel...

...he stepped on the pedal too low and released the clutch immediately...

...and nanoseconds later he hit the neighbor's tree...

...he said he could never forget those windshield wipers moving in front of his face after that incident.

BTW, my car back in college had this switch under the under the dashboard that won't allow the engine to start...

...quite handy if you want to make some excuses...