Funniest NPC

garazdawi · Post by **garazdawi** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 12:37 pm

great work!!!! VonDondu reading that certainly brought back a few memmories from my adventuring days ahhh jsut lovely

great work and did u say u had some town crier stuff?

Aqua-chan · Post by **Aqua-chan** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 3:28 pm

Cernd: The earth cradles you in her arms as she does all her children. Your lack of knowledge does nothing to change this basic fact. The heartless and the stupid continue to destroy the Mother for their own short-sighted ends. In my humble way, I protect her. This is not duty?

Anomen: Nay, it is not. To serve Helm with honor and fortitude, this is duty! Do not taint the word with your half-wit musings. You serve flowers and rodents, not truth and honor.

Minsc: Rodent?! What do you imply about my hamster?

Ah, Minsc...You always know when to jump in at the right time.

Good posts, Von Dondu. About the Korgy thing - Disreguard it. It was just a random rant on my part. I'm done with the inner musings for now.

Why ask her to stop? It's in the right category, and she's broken no rules. You were warned of Spoilers when you walked in the forums - that's the chance you take!

EDIT- VonDondu, sorry about the gender mix up. It won't happen again.

VonDondu · Post by **VonDondu** » Wed Jul 10, 2002 4:21 pm

Thanks for your support, Aqua-chan. I'm glad you enjoyed those dialogues. However, I can see why some people might consider all those posts to be "flooding" or even "thread hijacking", so I'm glad they're all on one page (which makes them easier to skip over).

BTW, I'm a she, not a he.

garazdawi, I've got a complete set of Town Crier dialogues. I had to synthesize them to get every dialogue branch (including all of the insults) so it's not identical to what you see in the game, but as I said, it's complete. It's also 18,000 characters long (about 3,000 words). I can mail it to you if you like.

Hesperus · Post by **Hesperus** » Sun Jul 14, 2002 11:01 pm

Thanks for posting some of the collection again vonDondu. Could I get some of the dialogues and Crier material as well? I enjoy mulling over the NPCs.

Posting the dialogues is a nice way to properly evaluate the funniest NPCs afterall.

Ahh, Brother Thurm, why not grace our ears with another ripping tale of the old days... huh ha huh ha ha ha..
(reply) UUGGGHHHH

damien the 3rd · Post by **damien the 3rd** » Sat Dec 21, 2002 6:16 am

wasnt there one with between keldorn and jan about keldorns mother and a flesh golem?

dios · Post by **dios** » Sat Dec 21, 2002 5:49 pm

First thing first:

In SoA Anomen...just for his annoying things...i gotta say Anomen... Anomen Delryn son of Lord Tyr (or something) knight of the most holy order of The Radiant heart...that says it...

In ToB Sarevok just rules...man playing a "evil" team with Sarevok, Viconia, Edwin...yeah that just rocked...

Azmodan · Post by **Azmodan** » Sun Dec 22, 2002 7:48 am

*ROFL* VonDondu... that was so goddamn funny!.... i absolutely love that drow woman!

well, my fav funny person must be
Haer'Dalis
he is gone... as in far out! !

i was thinking if someone thinks it's thread flooding, you could just make a dialog thread... i for one would love it!

VonDondu · Post by **VonDondu** » Sun Dec 22, 2002 4:10 pm

Originally posted by damien the 3rd
wasnt there one with between keldorn and jan about keldorns mother and a flesh golem?

The dialogues I posted in this thread took place in Throne of Bhaal. The dialogue between Jan and Keldorn that you're referring to took place in Shadows of Amn. I don't have those files on my computer at the moment, but I'll see if I can find them and post them.

Commoner · Post by **Commoner** » Wed Jan 01, 2003 2:13 am

Yeah, I have a really short question?

So, does NPC not stand for Non-Playable Characters?

Then, how is it that we call Playable Characters (which are PC) NPCs?

Really, aren't NPCs supposed to be characters like Baal or Ellesime?

This question does indeed, boggle me mind. Someone help!

VonDondu · Post by **VonDondu** » Wed Jan 01, 2003 4:10 am

When I played Advanced Dungeons & Dragons twenty years ago, I was told that "NPC" was an acronym for "Non-Player Character". NPCs were under the control of the Dungeon Master. Some NPCs could join your party, and you had some control over what they did (to the extent that you decided what the party would do), but the players did not have much more control over them than that.

Skip to BG1, BG2, etc. When you play a PC or "Player Character", you give him a name, roll his stats, choose his colors, make up his background history, and control all of his thoughts and actions. For example, you have a choice when it comes to his dialogue options.

Now compare that to the NPCs or "Non-Player Characters". You don't choose their names or roll their stats or choose the colors they wear or make up their background history or control what they say--their dialogue is limited to what they're intended to say by the game designers.

In that sense, the NPCs who can join your party are "playable characters", but they are not PCs or "Player Characters".

I wouldn't be surprised if there are people who completely disagree with me about everything I just said. Apparently, there has long been a debate about what the term "NPC" means. This kind of thing tends to have a life of its own.

fable · Post by **fable** » Wed Jan 01, 2003 9:22 am

Originally posted by VonDondu
Now compare that to the NPCs or "Non-Player Characters". You don't choose their names or roll their stats or choose the colors they wear or make up their background history or control what they say--their dialogue is limited to what they're intended to say by the game designers.

And to add to what VonDondu points out, party NPCs in BG2 (and to a lesser extent, in PS:T) will "act on their own initiative." That's to say, they will argue and fight with other party NPCs of an opposite alignment, leave you if your reputation is out of alignment with your own, leave if (in a few instances) you don't perform their special quests in relatively quick order, and even in a couple of instances take action in a way that cancels your own control of a situation.

My impression is that this feature of self-willed party NPCs owes something to the original Jagged Alliance, where developers Sir-Tech came up with the bright idea of forcing you to deal with bizarre personalities and feuds in a good, tactical merc company. (This aspect was unfortunately rolled back in their otherwise superior Jagged Alliance 2.) It certainly does bring your party members to life. Some of that is also present in Planescape: Torment, which preceded BG2, but not as much.

In all other CRPGs I've encountered since first reviewing 'em back in 1986, party NPCs added a comment or two at times, but never interacted via dialog and "self-willed moments" anywhere near to the extent that they do in BG2. It's certainly one of the most attractive features of BG2, and one that Bioware says will also be in its upcoming Knights of the Old Merchandising Star Wars Repub--excuse me, Knights of the Old Republic. Too bad nobody has followed them in this respect.

Commoner · Post by **Commoner** » Wed Jan 01, 2003 1:04 pm

ah well, in taht case, my favorite NPC is Sarevok. I also like his undercover name Koveras. The reason I like him is because he takes more hits than anyone in battle, before he falls. Besides that, I rarely use him in my adventuring (as in, no suicide runs). I still have Koveras' Ring of Protection +1 as souvineir from Badur's Gate I. And if Balthazar is a "non-player character" (which I think fits into the definition), I'd like to add he is the coolest monk to walk the surface of the earth. "Lunar Stance!" is indeed, a bold statement. The mystifying statement appeals to everyone as an immortal image (unless you save vs. death at -16 penalty) and it's one phrase that says it all (says what? I do not know). Anyways, all other NPCs are insignificant to me as a rabbit would be to an elephant (has anyone ever seen elephant stepping on a rabbit?).

Commoner · Post by **Commoner** » Wed Jan 01, 2003 1:25 pm

Hmmm I guess I didn't pay that much attention to the topic after all. I didn't mean Sarevok to be the funniest NPC, but I'll still try and defend my opinion anyways.

Sarevok has another name, which is Koveras. This is exremely funny if you think about it, because Koveras is same as Sarevok where letters have array of exact oppositeness (bwahaha). I know everyone knows this, so I'll get to the point.

Well... he has a ring named after him... does that count?

Also, I like Jan-Sarevok interactions... umm...

Oh, the funniest aspect of the character is his eyes. He must be blind or something because he has those two yellow orbs that fills his eyes (eek! what a freak). BLEH.

Fong Siu Beck · Post by **Fong Siu Beck** » Wed Oct 17, 2007 10:55 am

Beholder

The Spectator Beholder in the Sahaguin city of SOA and in Sendai's Enclave of TOB.:laugh:

This is really a funny NPCs although he don't have too many scene.

Solusek · Post by **Solusek** » Fri Oct 19, 2007 7:08 am

First of all, I'd like to point out how much I hate Jan. He's nothing but unbelievably annoying. And his constant character selection burps are just disgusting.

I also love the Beholder from the Sahuagin City. Especially his ToB appearance. "Off to the next Hive, check out the ladies, you know. The usual" bwahahahah :>

'Bondari reloads' is one of my favorites, too.

So long,
Sol

galraen · Post by **galraen** » Fri Oct 19, 2007 9:18 am

But at least Jan's polite about it, 'Pardon, Turnip reflex'.:laugh:

Pellinore · Post by **Pellinore** » Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:29 pm

Minsc, baby! Minsc, Korgan, Jan and Edwin are all funny guys. Too bad they didn't make the female characters that funny.

papercleanone · Post by **papercleanone** » Thu Nov 01, 2007 3:14 am

Jan gets my vote too.

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Nov 01, 2007 4:51 am

If anybody wants to add to this thread, please post more than just "me, too" content. That sort of thing really doesn't have content: it only reiterates exactly what was said before. Add in some details about why you think a particular character is especially funny.

Thanks.