Friends, what are they?

Littiz · Post by **Littiz** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:00 pm

Someone you trust, and who's happy for your achievements.
Might be rare, but friends exist

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:06 pm

I know that as I have grown older, my "definition" of a friend, if there is indeed such a thing, has grown as well.

When I was younger, a friend was:

1. Someone who liked me, and someone who I liked.
2. Someone who I had fun with, and who had fun with me.
3. Someone who wouldn't try to hurt me.

That changed over time...as I've learned the value of honesty, and the courage it takes to be honest - first with yourself, then with others - my definition of a friend has expanded somewhat.

First and foremost, a friend is someone I can trust...and this is earned by being honest with me. Granted, we are all human, and make mistakes...but the effort needs to be present. If my friend doesn't like something I'm doing...disagrees with me...or can't (or doesn't want to) give something to me that I'm asking for, they should tell the truth, and be honest.

What is worse...hurting someone momentarily with the truth....or destroying something as special as a friendship by feeling like you have to do something, even when you can't/don't want to? That adds up in the end, and you can really begin to resent someone when you feel like you're being taken advantage of by them. I value my friends too much to risk parting on ill terms.

With that said...friendship is something given freely, without asking, or taking. All things in a friendship are given freely...I can hope that my friend can help me if I need it, but I don't expect it...I have also learned that if you harbor expectations, you're setting yourself up for a long, hard road of disappointment and heartache.

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:19 pm

A friend is someone whose company you enjoy

with whom you can share a laugh and a beer

with whom you share common interests

who respects your boundaries

who wishes you well, as you wish them well

who says 'hi' back, and sometimes says it first

who can take a joke

who makes you laugh

who understands if you don't feel like laughing

who accepts you as you are

who is free to come and go

who calls you up after 4 years just to say hi

who keeps his word

who is honest

who does not make demands

who makes you happier, just being around them

Yshania · Post by **Yshania** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:28 pm

@Chan and Scayde, what you have written is beautiful *hugs*

On a slightly more humourous note, I would like to add this. The friend on the board who sent me this might recognise it

An Alternative Friendship Poem:

1) When you are sad, ...I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2) When you are blue, ...I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3) When you smile, ...I'll know you finally got what you wanted (amended for content

)

4) When you are scared, ...I will rag you about it every chance I get.

5) When you are worried, ...I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6) When you are confused...I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

7) When you are sick.....stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8) When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9) A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body.

Sorry guys

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:37 pm

LMAO! Sounds like a good friend.

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:39 pm

@Ysh...Thanks .......you are a good friend

.....*HUG*

Re; the joke...LOL.I have that somewhere on my pc.it si hilarious

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:40 pm

LMAO...A OL friend spams with you and never rags you about your typos

Gwalchmai · Post by **Gwalchmai** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:43 pm

Originally posted by Scayde
LMAO...A OL friend spams with you and never rags you about your typos

Don't look at me. Whome would do such a thing?

Nightmare · Post by **Nightmare** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:57 pm

To me, a friend is someone who's hands I would place my life into. A friend is someone who I will always be there for, and they to I. A friend is someone that understands.

The Z · Post by **The Z** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 5:59 pm

A friend is my back-up. When I fall, they pull me up because they know I'd do the same for them.

An aquaintance can be someone you like and enjoy being around with, but will probably not go great bounds for you.

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 6:00 pm

Originally posted by Gwalchmai
Don't look at me. Whome would do such a thing?

thanks

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 6:05 pm

Originally posted by Scayde
thanks

*hug* Awww, precious...I like your writing style. *kiss*

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 6:15 pm

Originally posted by Nightmare
To me, a friend is someone who's hands I would place my life into. A friend is someone who I will always be there for, and they to I. A friend is someone that understands.

I agree entirely with this, a true friend is somebody you can trust. Which is why it hurts so badly when a friend breaks your trust.

RandomThug · Post by **RandomThug** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 6:15 pm

Hmm I forgot the general rule.

A friend is a person whom at any time no matter what the circumstance they are currently in are willing to share some beers with you. Of course your buying...

InfiniteNature · Post by **InfiniteNature** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 6:32 pm

Friends are people who use you for something or another, be that emotional or psychological or financial, when that need is fulfilled they are no longer friends with you, vice versa for yourself as well with respect to other people. Friends are temporary acquaintances on the road of life, who you grow to like but through fault of your own or theirs, will eventually stab you in the back.

Here's some Robert Frost poetry for those of you of maudlin definitions.

FIRE AND ICE

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
>From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

ACQUAINTED WITH THE NIGHT
I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain -- and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.
I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,

But not to call me back or say good-bye;
And further still at an unearthly height,
O luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 7:57 pm

Originally posted by Chanak
*hug* Awww, precious...I like your writing style. *kiss*

Oh......

, Thank you Sweetheart....I am glad somebody does

*kiss*

Seriously...I think there are different kinds of friends. And people are able to give, only from what they have to offer.

There is a problem many people have of putting their friends up on a pedistal, then when the friend disapoints them, or hurts them, it causes the person to think there was disloyalty, that they were never their true friend to begin with. These people become jaded and mistrustful.

The truth is, the best of friends are only human. It is unrealistic to think they should always be there or that a true friend would never let you down. Their hearts may be filled with love for you, but the day you need them most, they are out of pocket, or can't leave the job, or their wife is having a baby, or they just might be having as bad a day as you, adn your pain would be the very thing that would push them over the edge. I know I would take a bullet for many of my friends, but if I am having a bad hair day, I might just as likely have the answering machine on, and pretend I am not home

Maharlika · Post by **Maharlika** » Tue Mar 04, 2003 8:26 pm

...friends are basically most of those (if not all) that you mentioned, but real true friends are those who have your best interests at heart, will tell you what YOU DON'T WANT YET you HAVE TO HEAR, make you DO WHAT YOU DON'T WANT YET you HAVE TO DO... and you would listen to them without having to be offended.

They just don't tell you what you WANT to hear but what you MUST know.

Krusader · Post by **Krusader** » Wed Mar 05, 2003 12:45 am

A friend is somebody I would give my life for, withouth second thoughs.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Wed Mar 05, 2003 1:12 am

Originally posted by RandomThug

Would you step in front of a bus for a friend?

No, if they were my friend, they wouldn't ask me

I'd do a lot for a friend. For a real friend. but all this talk about taking bullets and dying for people, straight up, We better be talking some close relationships here, and even then, I couldn't say 100% I'd do it or not until such a situation actually came up. I'd like to be the type to be able to say it with all certainty, but there is no way I could know how I would react in a situation.

Besides, I got family I'd PAY for the bullets for

Askal · Post by **Askal** » Wed Mar 05, 2003 2:39 am

I've been lucky. I have three real friends whom I can completely be myself with. I can trust them with my darkest secrets and count on them to sincerely be happy for me when I succeed at something.

Recently, I've learned a few things about friendship:

Contrary to opinion, we do not choose our friends. Our friends choose us. We just have to be willing to open up and accept what's being offered.

Real friends won't necessarily understand us all the time, but they will accept us for who we are.

Real friends wait for us to come to our senses and have the grace not to remind us (too often) of our own shortcomings.

Real friends will always be there for us, even when we've somehow managed to push them away.

No harsh words said between real friends are beyond forgiveness.