999 Ways to get fired

speedball · Post by **speedball** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 2:41 pm

46. Boo every announcement your boss makes in meetings.

Aegis · Post by **Aegis** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 2:59 pm

47. Transform your desk into a sacrifical alter to appease the mighty Weasel. Be sure to invite everyone in the office, promising swift, and vengeful herpes upon those who fail to show up.

Randolph Carter · Post by **Randolph Carter** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 3:29 pm

48. Two words: excessive flatulence.

Stinkily,
R.Carter

Stilgar · Post by **Stilgar** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 4:27 pm

49 spend more time surfing the internet and posting on forums then you work

Zelgadis · Post by **Zelgadis** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 9:57 pm

50. Every few months, tell people your birthday is coming up soon. Weep loudly in your cubicle if they don't get you a cake and sing each time.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:17 pm

Originally posted by Chanak
In the middle of a crucial meeting with clients and brass present, be sure to suddenly announce your pressing need loudly to everyone in the room. "Oh God, I think I have diarrhea!"

Go to work naked.

ROFLMAO!

In the case of the latter, it depends on the job, in certain occupations such activities could result in a pay raise!

51. On those days when it is your turn to bring in nibblies, provide milkbones instead of cookies

fable · Post by **fable** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:33 pm

52. Count backwards from 100 slowly but very loudly, so that everyone in the office can hear you.

53. Purchase a herring, and let it age three days in your backyard. Then slice it, take it into work, and offer it to your co- workers right before lunchtime.

54. Wear an army uniform, cultivate a scruffy beard, and ask your boss to call you Fidel.

Zelgadis · Post by **Zelgadis** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:45 pm

55. learn a forgien language, and refuse to speak anything but that around the office.

Tamerlane · Post by **Tamerlane** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:45 pm

Originally posted by fable
53. Purchase a herring, and let it age three days in your backyard. Then slice it, take it into work, and offer it to your co- workers right before lunchtime.

LOL, a similar thing happens in the movie Office Space. No better place to gut a fish then in an office cubicle

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:47 pm

56. Buy a chunk of Limburger cheese and hide it near the heater in your boss' office.

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu Jul 10, 2003 7:33 am

Originally posted by Tamerlane
LOL, a similar thing happens in the movie Office Space. No better place to gut a fish then in an office cubicle

How was the movie? Was it as good as this thread?

speedball · Post by **speedball** » Thu Jul 10, 2003 10:36 am

Office Space was an entertaining movie. The longer I've worked in a corporate setting, the more I've come to appreciate it. Well worth the rental cost if you haven't seen it.

Tamerlane · Post by **Tamerlane** » Thu Jul 10, 2003 10:26 pm

Originally posted by fable
How was the movie? Was it as good as this thread?

LOL, Well I own it and I rarely ever purchase movies. As speedball said, its that small sector of disgruntled office workers that is its main target audience.

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Thu Jul 10, 2003 11:13 pm

Sounds like a movie I ought to see soon, then, as I spent some time working in that environment.

56. Come to work wearing vulcan ears and a starfleet uniform.

57. Attend a company party dressed like a giant donut.

58. Bring your pet Burmese python to work with you. If security asks, tell them you thought today was "Show and Tell" day.

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Thu Jul 10, 2003 11:31 pm

Originally posted by Chanak
58. Bring your pet Burmese python to work with you. If security asks, tell them you thought today was "Show and Tell" day.

LMAO.....I might try this

59. Put nude pictures of Wayne Newton on your Boss's desktop screensaver

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Thu Jul 10, 2003 11:41 pm

Where on earth would someone find these pics? And why the hell would anyone want to unearth them if found?

Scayde · Post by **Scayde** » Thu Jul 10, 2003 11:57 pm

Originally posted by Chanak
Where on earth would someone find these pics? And why the hell would anyone want to unearth them if found?

LOL..I am not sure even google could find one..but you have to admit it would do the trick if you really wanted out of a sorry job

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Fri Jul 11, 2003 12:09 am

59. Post your bosses extension on a gay dating sight, then ask him later if he's been getting any action.

60. repeatedly remark how comfortable you are working with a boss who is so undeniably ugly that you never have to worry about losing your job for coming on to her.

61. repeatedly congratulate everyone on a good days work with a noogie and wedgie.

Bloodstalker · Post by **Bloodstalker** » Fri Jul 11, 2003 12:10 am

Originally posted by Scayde
LMAO.....I might try this

59. Put nude pictures of Wayne Newton on your Boss's desktop screensaver

Never did that, but I have set the destop as a screenshot of the desktop, then removed all the icons from the screen.

Chanak · Post by **Chanak** » Fri Jul 11, 2003 12:12 am

Originally posted by Bloodstalker
Never did that, but I have set the destop as a screenshot of the desktop, then removed all the icons from the screen.

I've done that too. Nasty little trick.