Favorite quotes from characters, anyone?

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Mon Jan 26, 2004 11:49 am

Yeah, it will be very cool to taunt your character with new lines and activation by command keys Something like:

'Feel the taste of Peridan, filth!'

Just not letting the sound set by default, or something...

morgan · Post by **morgan** » Mon Jan 26, 2004 1:35 pm

My favorite random, out-of-nowhere quote (which are some of the best) is by Minsc:

"You know - I think the forest - likes Boo"

Zephyralien · Post by **Zephyralien** » Wed Jan 28, 2004 12:22 pm

I like when you fight gnomes (just normal NPC ones), They will say something like, "Watch out! Yer Kneecaps are at me mercy!" or something like that.

Stilgar · Post by **Stilgar** » Thu Jan 29, 2004 8:17 pm

Shadow Thief: No! I don't want to die!
Jon Irenicus: Silence, dog. You exist only for me to kill you.

Minsc: I won't cry for the dead! I won't! Well, maybe a little... but I will staunch the tears with righteous fury!

Demonspoon · Post by **Demonspoon** » Tue Feb 17, 2004 3:12 am

You know, once, long time ago, I was, like, a moonblade
-Lilacor

I'm sure my kneecaps are in grave peril
-Edwin after being threatened by Mazzy

And everyone seems to have forgotten the amateur adventurers' dialog after returning with the elder orb eye stalk - priceless

Ekental · Post by **Ekental** » Wed Feb 18, 2004 11:17 pm

Speaking of that spectator beholder in ToB... I like the Drow Captain that you kill with the geas thingy...
"Yes, my mono-ocular friend?" or something of that nature, does someone know the exact quote?

BTW is there a way to access all the dialogue without playing the game?

Iyke · Post by **Iyke** » Thu Feb 19, 2004 4:40 pm

Jan battlecry: 'This isnt boring! Ill give it that!!'

-its the way he says it

Also his timing has had me in fits. Sometimes as a lovetalk comes up with the slushy music and heart-break dialogues, there is Jan's voice lingering on in the background ....

'..except for the burning sensation .. and the RASH .. but still!'

Jan critical miss : 'By uncle spanky's thumb'

Funniest was when PC died and during the end-of-game movie you hear that uncle spanky's thumb. classic.

select Jan: 'Dont shout, i can hear you just fine'. same voice as 'yes, yes .. a standard tactic that' which someone already mentioned. Classic Jan

Hesperus · Post by **Hesperus** » Thu Feb 19, 2004 7:27 pm

lots of fun statements in spellhold

At Spellhold, if you have Jan and Haerry, after Dradeel says "you've the rank smell of Golodon the unmanned, *astard!, which is funny since Jan says "you smell like Golodon" and has stories about the stinking cloud effects of Golodon's foot (instead of Bigby's fist) spells. Jan makes a reply to Haerry to the effect of "wait, I know this man but I do not remember from where" and Haerry replies something like "what's this? Jan has nothing to say" and Jan gets flustered, though I can't remember his little reply. It's not easy to fluster Mr Jansen...

Dradeel cracks me up every time: BACK BAD DOG BACK! Werewolves all of you! Back! Play dead! and about having endless time while bad doggie werewolves chew your toes while you sleep! Especially if you remember his life after Balduran stranded in BGI. and his classy, "Personally, I spend the time reliving culinary delights from childhood..." and gives you a dessert recipe.

And the shapechanging girl, "This face is boring... now I'm... "(a chicken, doggy, PC, etc). The way she says it is cute.

And the Coordinator, what a riot. "... was going to take a holiday, probably going to die, down, down..." and "shut up, no more questions, no more! no one speaks to the coordinator, no one--speaks the coordinator", or "take a memo" for the pantaloons clue

And my footer for the lovely but dark Viconia... her tone of voice is just great, such loathing...

Zephyralien · Post by **Zephyralien** » Thu Feb 19, 2004 9:54 pm

I really liked the lines of some of the seductive females...

"Im going to show you why one night with me if better than an eternity with any other woman.." -Phaere

My favorite.

Galuf the Dwarf · Post by **Galuf the Dwarf** » Fri Feb 20, 2004 1:16 pm

Hey, Hesperus...

Originally posted by Hesperus
At Spellhold, if you have Jan and Haerry, after Dradeel says "you've the rank smell of Golodon the unmanned, *astard!, which is funny since Jan says "you smell like Golodon" and has stories about the stinking cloud effects of Golodon's foot (instead of Bigby's fist) spells. Jan makes a reply to Haerry to the effect of "wait, I know this man but I do not remember from where" and Haerry replies something like "what's this? Jan has nothing to say" and Jan gets flustered, though I can't remember his little reply. It's not easy to fluster Mr Jansen...

Dradeel cracks me up every time: BACK BAD DOG BACK! Werewolves all of you! Back! Play dead! and about having endless time while bad doggie werewolves chew your toes while you sleep! Especially if you remember his life after Balduran stranded in BGI. and his classy, "Personally, I spend the time reliving culinary delights from childhood..." and gives you a dessert recipe.

And the shapechanging girl, "This face is boring... now I'm... "(a chicken, doggy, PC, etc). The way she says it is cute.

And the Coordinator, what a riot. "... was going to take a holiday, probably going to die, down, down..." and "shut up, no more questions, no more! no one speaks to the coordinator, no one--speaks the coordinator", or "take a memo" for the pantaloons clue

And my footer for the lovely but dark Viconia... her tone of voice is just great, such loathing...

Uh, Hesperus, I'm confused. When you mention about Jan talking about Golodon, are you talking about something he says in a reaction to Dradeel's quote? If so, then that's new to me.

If you're talking about Jan's usual mentioning of Golodon when you click on him, he says "You sound like Golodon." (Trust me, I have a memory that HARDLY ever fails.)

Hesperus · Post by **Hesperus** » Mon Feb 23, 2004 9:21 am

@ Galuf,

Right, one time waaay back... I remember Jan making a reply to Dradeel when Haer dails and Minsc were in the party and Jan made the reply to Dradeel saying "you've the rank smell of Golodon the Unmanned" that he knew him from somewhere and Haer dalis made the reply which flustered poor Jan. If I had a way to extract the dialogue, I'd extract it to verify...

And you're right about the "sound like Golodon" when you click on Jan instead of smell -- sorry.

And more funny lines: if you have the FW banterpacks, there is a bunch of funny stuff, especially with Minsc, "Larry" (Lilacor), and Jaheria, and also Minsc, Lilacor, and Nalia. There are others but those are just great...

(vague) MOD SPOLIER:

In the first, Minsc asks Jaheria for Larry to meet her weapon (naughty Larry)..., and in the other Minsc asks Nalia about how Larry could have gotten in his sword... Larry's off the wall replies to Nalia's questions are just priceless

UncleScratchy · Post by **UncleScratchy** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 9:53 am

Re: Hey, Hesperus...

This is the dialog regarding Golodon's failed spell making efforts:

"Yes, almost a fate worse than death. You know, Golodon once tried to enchant his foot. He wanted to be as powerful as Vecna, what with the Hand and all, but he never quite got the knack of it. His "Golodon's Crushing Foot" and "Golodon's Interposing Foot" spells never really caught on, and I always thought that his severed foot was more apt at casting "Stinking Cloud" ..."

The dialog about Dradeel is part of a long winded story Jan tells. I don't think Haer Dalis has to be in the party to get it though. In fact its triggered by Mazzy being in the party.

"Mazzy: All of the evil in the world cannot keep one from admiring the beauty of the earth.

Jan: Very true, lassie. You must work with potatoes.

Mazzy: How might one make that assumption?

Jan: Hmm? Oh, I thought it was obvious. Never had your pegged for a slow one, but you never can tell. Allow me to spell it out... you see, about 15 years ago I was employed by a mage of no small caliber. Golodon the Unmanned was his name. Good teeth. Nice smell. Vicious streak a mile wide.

Mazzy: This is not making any sense, Jan.

Jan: He couldn't have children, of course. Nasty cone of cold accident, you see. Regardless, his tower wasn't far from Athkatla and I managed to gain employment with the old elf for a while. Mondays were particularly amusing. Golodon would start the day off by summoning an imp. He'd usually spend 3 or 4 hours making it run around the room barking like a dog.

But, as it was with Golodon, he soon tired of the sport. He had a beautiful mastiff named Buffy. Her diet consisted almost entirely of imps. Imp doesn't taste half-bad when it's fried with a bit of garlic and butter. Goes well with turnips, too.

Mazzy: What, pray tell, does this have to do with the presumption that I work with potatoes?

Jan: Oh, right. So anyway, Golodon's ex-wife lived no more that 200 paces from the mages tower. My primary job was poisoning her food, though occasionally I'd have to clean up Buffy's excrement. She had managed to build quite the resistance to mandrake. Golodon's ex-wife, that is, not the dog.

It was truly a magical time in my life. I haven't been as happy poisoning someone since then. I was also, of course, poisoning Golodon on his ex-wife's behalf. She did pay handsomely.

Word has it that Golodon has finally kicked the bucket, if you get my drift. Died of malaria complicated by a fireball down his throat. Apparently, Golodon's old nemesis returned. Dradu or Dradeen or some such name. The old bastard would occasionally mention this enemy when he was particularly drunk. The two of them had stolen some valuable artifacts from the Gibbering Twelve.

Golodon blackjacked poor Dradunce and split with the magic. He later realized that he should have killed Dreedle and, cold-hearted fool that he was, sent assassins to finish the job. Drafeel disappeared, though his body was never found. It worried Golodon to no end.

Mazzy: Perhaps we should be concentrating on our journey, good gnome.

Jan: I can't find it in my heart to feel sorry for him. He did fire me after all. Do you know why?

Mazzy: I neither know nor care.

Jan: That was a bit rude. I take my potato comment back, missy!

Mazzy: Where in the heavens did this potato remark arise in the first place?

Jan: I don't know if I'm talking to you anymore.

Mazzy: Fine, fine! I'd rather not hear the story anyway.

Jan: If you must know, it was during my time as a mobile turnip vendor.

Mazzy: Jan, though I respect you, I must say that your are quite infuriating. Please desist, we have things to accomplish.

Jan: Twice a week I'd head out to the country to pick up my product. The turnip fields were owned by my Uncle Scratchy. Interesting fellow, by the way. Remind me to tell you about him some time.

Mazzy: Are you even listening to me?

Jan: Each trip I made, I would stop to talk to the halfling lass that worked in Uncle Scratchy's potato operation. The girl had had a very difficult life. She lost her parents to an orc attack when she was just a girl. She'd been a slave for the foul beasts until Aunt Petunia freed her.

The girl told me that, no matter how much evil she saw or had inflicted upon her, the simple pleasure of honest work and the feel of the earth beneath her feet always reminded her of how lucky she really was. Her outlook was not unlike your own, dear Mazzy.

Mazzy: A noble tale in the end, Jan, though I'm continually puzzled by your need to inflict 20 minutes of inane yarns on your listeners before getting to the point.

Jan: And that, lassie, is why you are not a consummate tale-spinner. Don't worry, I'll teach you yet.

In Spellhold the dialog with Dradeel, Jan and Haer Dalis goes like this:

Dradeel: "You! Do I know you? No, I don't know anyone! Back! Bad dog! Play dead!"

Dradeel: "No more tests! No more questions! No more! Back! Bad dog!"

Dradeel: " You've the rank smell of Golodon the Unmanned. Bastard!"

Jan: "I know of this man, but from where? I cannot recall."

Haer Dalis: "I shouldn't wish to alarm anyone, but I just wanted to point out that Jan has failed to produce a story. Can the apocalypse be far?"

Jan: "Hrmph!"

Note: I'm assuming the dialog is from these threee characters but I may have attributed the quotes incorrectly. Although I was able to extract the Dradeel dialog files it doesn't tell you who speaks the response lines.

Hesperus · Post by **Hesperus** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:49 pm

Excellent! It's worthwhile to have Mazzy in the party just for that story (and with how annoyed she gets with him). It's nay too hard to see why its hard to adventure without Jan Jakobar...

Another funny story for Jan when he tells about his year spent as a god, had accidently during the time of troubles... there could be a thread just dedicated to Jan...

Galuf the Dwarf · Post by **Galuf the Dwarf** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 7:13 pm

Originally posted by Hesperus
Excellent! It's worthwhile to have Mazzy in the party just for that story (and with how annoyed she gets with him). It's nay too hard to see why its hard to adventure without Jan Jakobar...

Another funny story for Jan when he tells about his year spent as a god, had accidently during the time of troubles... there could be a thread just dedicated to Jan...

Jan Jakobar?

If you're talking about our favorite rambling gnome, his last name is Jansen.

*clears throat* Anyways, the one thing I remember him saying the most with another NPC is when having him and Aerie in your party when you speak with the guy in the Gates District about Trademeet, Jan talks about an uncle of his that would take milk baths. He was once pursued by starving cats, and almost got a surprise attack by kobolds because of those cats crying to be fed.

UncleScratchy · Post by **UncleScratchy** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 10:13 pm

Originally posted by Hesperus
Excellent! It's worthwhile to have Mazzy in the party just for that story (and with how annoyed she gets with him). It's nay too hard to see why its hard to adventure without Jan Jakobar...

Another funny story for Jan when he tells about his year spent as a god, had accidently during the time of troubles... there could be a thread just dedicated to Jan...

Here's the dialog from the god yarn:

Anyway, it was during the Time of Troubles that I'd run afoul of some Banite cultists who accidentally mistook me for Bane's earthly avatar. Don't ask. Maybe they didn't have a picture. I wasn't sure what to think, myself, and resolved to spend more attention towards my breath in the future. It wasn't long before I was worshipped by thousands on a regular basis. They made good stew and the constant chanting wasn't unpleasant, so I decided to play along. No one grows turnips under threat of eternal torment quite as well as a Dreadmaster, and I'll stand by that statement to this day.

Being a god isn't what you'd expect, though. Sune was all over me from day one...I hear she developed a thing for turnips about a decade ago. She just wouldn't leave me alone! There were parties at all hours of the night, Lliira would get plastered and fall into the lily pond and eventually Torm would start a brawl with somebody. Did you know what it's like to have Helm pounding on your door at three in the morning? I could never get any sleep at all. If it wasn't one thing it was getting slapped by Umberlee or hit on by Loviatar. All night long...and in the morning, all the gods would be in a foul mood. Terrible.

I couldn't find anything good about the experience at all. No wonder Ao kicked them all out. He probably had to catch up on his housekeeping, of all things. Well, after all of that I was more than happy to let Cyric have the job, eager puppy that he was. Left it behind me for a turnip farm and a nice pension, and gladly...although I eventually traded the pension for some stock in a Spelljammer trading cruiser, which was a bad decision but all us mortals aren't immune to that, of course. Lost the farm, too, in a game of checkers to Uncle Fibbert. But that turned out all right, as the turnips got a bad rot that year and Uncle Fibbert died of too much intestinal gas. Poor man.

Originally posted by Galuf the Dwarf
Jan Jakobar?

If you're talking about our favorite rambling gnome, his last name is Jansen.

Jakobar is his middle name. Jan Jakobar Jansen.

Galuf the Dwarf · Post by **Galuf the Dwarf** » Tue Feb 24, 2004 10:52 pm

Originally posted by UncleScratchy
Here's the dialog from the god yarn:

Anyway, it was during the Time of Troubles that I'd run afoul of some Banite cultists who accidentally mistook me for Bane's earthly avatar. Don't ask. Maybe they didn't have a picture. I wasn't sure what to think, myself, and resolved to spend more attention towards my breath in the future. It wasn't long before I was worshipped by thousands on a regular basis. They made good stew and the constant chanting wasn't unpleasant, so I decided to play along. No one grows turnips under threat of eternal torment quite as well as a Dreadmaster, and I'll stand by that statement to this day.

Being a god isn't what you'd expect, though. Sune was all over me from day one...I hear she developed a thing for turnips about a decade ago. She just wouldn't leave me alone! There were parties at all hours of the night, Lliira would get plastered and fall into the lily pond and eventually Torm would start a brawl with somebody. Did you know what it's like to have Helm pounding on your door at three in the morning? I could never get any sleep at all. If it wasn't one thing it was getting slapped by Umberlee or hit on by Loviatar. All night long...and in the morning, all the gods would be in a foul mood. Terrible.

I couldn't find anything good about the experience at all. No wonder Ao kicked them all out. He probably had to catch up on his housekeeping, of all things. Well, after all of that I was more than happy to let Cyric have the job, eager puppy that he was. Left it behind me for a turnip farm and a nice pension, and gladly...although I eventually traded the pension for some stock in a Spelljammer trading cruiser, which was a bad decision but all us mortals aren't immune to that, of course. Lost the farm, too, in a game of checkers to Uncle Fibbert. But that turned out all right, as the turnips got a bad rot that year and Uncle Fibbert died of too much intestinal gas. Poor man.

Jakobar is his middle name. Jan Jakobar Jansen.

Funny, I hardly ever heard of that. Although... wait a minute... didn't he say that one time that i initially pick him up in my party? *scratches his bearded chin in deep contemplation* So many bits and pieces of information, yet so little time. *sighs*

Gauda · Post by **Gauda** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 9:32 am

Originally posted by VonDondu
"I cannot be caged!" (kills Cowled Wizard)

"I cannot be controlled!" (kills another one)

"Know this as you die, ever-pathetic, ever-fools!" (kills the rest of them)

Just the sort of lines I wish my own character would say.

That's what was truly truly great with bg2. The Villain, he was just so cruel, so perfect yet not too evil. He was the Villain that you grew to love and hate at the same time, and his voice was just... outstanding. EXELENT voice acting no doubt.

Another great one in the asylium:

"Silence dog, your only purpose in life is to die by my hand" or something like that

One of my favorites is also the very first dialog in the game:

"Ah the Child of Bhaal has awoken... It's time for more... experiments"

ElesarTheStrong · Post by **ElesarTheStrong** » Sat Feb 28, 2004 1:39 pm

Minsc: "You and Boo and I, Hamsters and Rangers everwhere, rejoice!

"Boo says: What?"

"Go for the eyes Boo, go for the eyes!"

Irenicus: "You dare attack me. Do you even know whom you face?"

Shar-Teel: "Men are pathetic

Jan: "Burp"

Nalia: "It's almost beneath me".

Thoose are just I few a know off by hear.t

Boris · Post by **Boris** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:22 am

This post isn't funny enough for this thread...

...but I'll say it anyway.

It's apparent that a lot of conversations can take place with different NPCs. For example, the dialogue between Jan & Aerie about the milk, golems, etc. also occurs with Viconia - who is absolutely driven to distraction! I particularly enjoy the ending, where she asks the PC to shut Jan up & one can choose to say "Well, it all started with..."!

B.

Armycardinal · Post by **Armycardinal** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 9:11 am

In one of the dream sequences with Irenicus:

'I wonder if YOU are destined to be forgotten? Will you fade in the shadow of greater beings?'

Yes. Definitely the ultimate super-villian.

('tho I haven't squared off with the Final Boss of ToB, yet

)

AC