Favorite quotes from characters, anyone?

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 10:09 am

Huh...

Dont you guys think that Amelissan just cant tell anything cool? Like, she is not a real enemy in therms of combat, she is not a very cool speaker, and I do not have much more than a slight will to kill her, to finish the game.

Irenicus was much more as a ending boss. Much more worthy.

Even Firkraag.

Why did they put Amelissan there in the first place? I knewed she was the ending boss and her scheme just for hearing her speech at first chapter Tob... She is a spoiler.... yacks!

Sojourner · Post by **Sojourner** » Mon Mar 01, 2004 10:41 am

Jan Jansen has my all-time favorites. Here's one you'll get if Jan dies and is resurrected, and you have Keldorn in the Party:

Jan: "Greetings, everyone. Sorry, no gifts or souvenirs this time but I'll keep you all in mind the next time I'm gone. Oh, Keldorn: the gods say 'hi' and that you should wash your underwear more thoroughly. Everyone ready? Let's go adventuring."

Gauda · Post by **Gauda** » Tue Mar 02, 2004 6:33 am

Edwin: Jan, your stories are rife with discrensapasies, half-truths and bafflegab. A woeful weaver of yarns you are for one so self-professed with talents to do so

Jan: is the an epic begging for verse rattling about in your head Edwin?

Edwin: Nothing that could compete hartily with your ****-eyed narrative gems

Nothing's like the sharp comments inbetween the highly intelligent Jan and Edwin

UncleScratchy · Post by **UncleScratchy** » Tue Mar 02, 2004 7:57 am

Edwin vs Jan

Originally posted by Gauda
...Nothing's like the sharp comments inbetween the highly intelligent Jan and Edwin

Yes, and Jan wins hands down every time. As in the Uncle Ager dialogs:

Jan: Oh, don't get all huffy. It's just that, at this angle you look a lot like my Uncle Ager of the Tomes.

Edwin: Ah, and I suppose he had a comical disfigurement, or his mind fell a few coppers short of a silver, or that his tremendous odor kept the stars afloat, or some other thinly disguised failing told ONLY to demean me in the eyes of others!

Jan: Eh, no, he was a mage. Tell me, Edwin, are you having trouble at home?

Edwin: (sigh) Go away, gnome. Go away.

Or this exchange:

Jan: Well, mageling, how goes the battle against all that is right and good in this world?

Edwin: (It would surely go better without annoying gnomes asking questions) Question not my designs, else you, too, will become an unwilling part of them.

Jan: I sometimes believe that it is my destiny to become a part of some incompetent mages fizzled schemes. Golodon the Unmanned being a case in point. You, too, I suppose.

Edwin: I am to be continually plagued by fools? Conversation with you does not rate highly on my list of things to accomplish. Run along, now. (Yes, that will do.)

Jan: Truth be told, I feel a bit sorry for you. It must be frustrating to see your entire life's goals amount to absolutely nothing.

Edwin: What do you know of my goals, gnome?

Jan: If you say so. Let me know when it's time to bow. I might not notice it.

fable · Post by **fable** » Tue Mar 02, 2004 8:30 am

I rather wish that during its heyday somebody had Interplay had possessed the unconventional, creative idea of centering an Infinity-engine-based RPG around Jan. With Bioware's writing team, it could have been great fun, and decidedly more interesting than the usual "the hero's a pig herder with a secret godlike legacy" nonsense.

UncleScratchy · Post by **UncleScratchy** » Wed Mar 03, 2004 9:11 am

Originally posted by fable
I rather wish that during its heyday somebody had Interplay had possessed the unconventional, creative idea of centering an Infinity-engine-based RPG around Jan. With Bioware's writing team, it could have been great fun, and decidedly more interesting than the usual "the hero's a pig herder with a secret godlike legacy" nonsense.

If done correctly it could have been a great game what with Jan's history of blackmarketering, his monkey breeding and turnip growing enterprises, an extensive family of nut-job relatives to draw upon for adventures, etc. I'm still waiting and hoping that someone will make a BG2 romance mod for Jan and female protagonists. After all the developers made that silly romance spoof between the female knight and Garrick (where the knight eventually runs off and marries Cyrano the gnome).

nephtu · Post by **nephtu** » Wed Mar 03, 2004 10:04 am

More of Jan..

Turnip golems anyone?

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Wed Mar 03, 2004 10:19 am

decidedly more interesting than the usual "the hero's a pig herder with a secret godlike legacy" nonsense.

Well, that is the usual history but its cool also...

I'm still waiting and hoping that someone will make a BG2 romance mod for Jan and female protagonists

With a final fight with crazy tulip golems and a magestic final phrase from Jan, telling that the outcome of the fight was wimpy or something, extra lines with Edwin, Viconia and specially Cernd (cause if he is such an @$$ the other players could at least get some laughter from him...

Turnip golems anyone?

You sure?

Boris · Post by **Boris** » Thu Mar 04, 2004 8:36 pm

Re: More of Jan..

Originally posted by nephtu
Turnip golems anyone?

YES!!!

B.

P.S. I *think* (but my ears aren't so good) that one one of Jan's battle-cries is "Take that, you turnip-eater!", or similar. This confuses me somewhat, since surely J. would approve of vegetable-gobblers? Or perhaps he merely enjoys the collection & distribution of nutritious roots, while disapproving of the consumption of same? I think we should be told...

P.P.S. Is Jan really deaf? He explains to Viccy (I think) that his ears are useless & he can only lip-read, but one of his standard phrases is that the PC shouldn't shout, since he can hear him perfectly well?!
Perhaps one of our resident Jan-experts could enlighten us...
(looks at Uncle Scratchy)

LoreKeeper · Post by **LoreKeeper** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 1:21 am

Re: Re: More of Jan..

Originally posted by Boris

P.S. I *think* (but my ears aren't so good) that one one of Jan's battle-cries is "Take that, you turnip-eater!", or similar. This confuses me somewhat, since surely J. would approve of vegetable-gobblers? Or perhaps he merely enjoys the collection & distribution of nutritious roots, while disapproving of the consumption of same? I think we should be told...

P.P.S. Is Jan really deaf? He explains to Viccy (I think) that his ears are useless & he can only lip-read, but one of his standard phrases is that the PC shouldn't shout, since he can hear him perfectly well?!
Perhaps one of our resident Jan-experts could enlighten us...

In the german version that battlecry goes "Nehmt das, ihr Steckrübenhasser!", which I would translate as "Take that, you turnip-haters!". If Jan hated turnip-eaters so violently, he'd killed off his whole family by now...

Concerning the story of his deafness, he proves his hearing at the end of that dialog (can't remember it exactly, but I think he reacts to a remark by Viconia). He tells it just to upset Viconia.
(but what of his stories is not meant to upset someone? Gotta love that gnome... )

I hope I could be of service,
LoreKeeper

nephtu · Post by **nephtu** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 8:36 am

Re: Re: More of Jan..

Originally posted by Boris
YES!!!

B.

P.S. I *think* (but my ears aren't so good) that one one of Jan's battle-cries is "Take that, you turnip-eater!", or similar. This confuses me somewhat, since surely J. would approve of vegetable-gobblers? Or perhaps he merely enjoys the collection & distribution of nutritious roots, while disapproving of the consumption of same? I think we should be told...

P.P.S. Is Jan really deaf? He explains to Viccy (I think) that his ears are useless & he can only lip-read, but one of his standard phrases is that the PC shouldn't shout, since he can hear him perfectly well?!
Perhaps one of our resident Jan-experts could enlighten us...
(looks at Uncle Scratchy)

It's turnip-hater indeed. Jan is not deaf, he's just a liar...err...storyteller. The spider dialogue with Viconia is great

Iyke · Post by **Iyke** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 12:51 pm

Just for the sake of accuracy

'Take THAT!! Ya turnip-hating scum'

-Its his Critical Hit

Battlecry : This isnt boring ... I'll give it that!

Critical Miss: By Uncle Spanky's Thumb!

Jan : Infinite Replayability

Luis Antonio · Post by **Luis Antonio** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 2:42 pm

If the producers have spent more time on writing the lines, dialogues and interactions with all NPC's just as they did to our Jan addictive here, Baldur's Gate will be seen as a chemical drug, so high will be the addiction level for the average player.

That´s why them modders have been so successfull creating interesting NPC's.

Slick Fork · Post by **Slick Fork** » Fri Mar 05, 2004 7:49 pm

Speaking of Mod's...

I'm taking a run through with Tashia in my party. Went to force talk to her and chose the flirt option. She told me "Go hump a tree or something" I literaly fell out of my chair this morning when I read that!

Slick Fork · Post by **Slick Fork** » Thu Mar 11, 2004 5:17 am

Got to Ust Natha last night and was reminded of another classic from Phaere... "Relax male, if I wanted you for pleasure you would already be naked and sweating!"

UncleScratchy · Post by **UncleScratchy** » Mon Mar 29, 2004 3:36 pm

This one made me laugh

I just started a new game with the Unfinished Business mod. Since the UB notes recommended to have Nalia in the party when Boo gets kidnapped I have both Minsc and Nalia in my party. I was walking by the Planar Sphere in the slums and stopped to talk to Waylane - the con man who is trying to sell the sphere. First he offered it to Jaheira who gave poor Waylane a good scathing. Then he offered it to Nalia. Here's how the dialog went:

Waylane - "Hey! You there! The pretty young lady in the hood!"

Nalia - "Pretty...? You don't mean me, do you?"

Waylane - "Yes you! See this mighty fine sphere, here? You can have it for your very own for a mere 500 gold pieces! What do you say?"

Nalia - "I'd say you're a pathetic man who should seriously consider finding honest work, for once. Honestly... who do you expect to fall for that line?"

Minsc - "Hmmmn... the sphere is awfully big for only five hundred gold pieces. It might be a good bargain. What say you, Boo?"\\

Nalia - "Oh, never mind..."

You can almost hear the exasperation in Nalia's voice over Minsc's timing and his village idiot statement.

Galuf the Dwarf · Post by **Galuf the Dwarf** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 9:30 am

And then there are some interesting combat lines.

Minsc (weapon ineffective): "No effect?! I need a bigger sword."

Keldorn (battle cries): "For right and honor!"
"Good is on our side this day!"

Korgan (weapon ineffective): "This beggar's immune!"

Oh, and UncleScratchy, you think you could possibly find the lines of Jan's dialogue with Aerie (upon accepting the Druid Stonghold quest) about one of his uncle's milk baths?

Sytze · Post by **Sytze** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 11:17 am

LMAO....Minsc remark about his weapon inneffective is just priceless

UncleScratchy · Post by **UncleScratchy** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:21 pm

Uncle Prebar's milk baths

Originally posted by Galuf the Dwarf
Oh, and UncleScratchy, you think you could possibly find the lines of Jan's dialogue with Aerie (upon accepting the Druid Stonghold quest) about one of his uncle's milk baths?

I think this is the one you are refering to, but in my notes I don't show whether the other person is Aerie (not saying that it isn't Aerie either though):

Jan: "Ah, the smell of adventure is nigh! Or is that the ale spilled on the floor? You know, come to think of it, there’s not too much difference between the two. One usually follows the other, if you take my meaning. Unless you happen to be Uncle Prebar, who took a milk bath both before and after an adventure. Ahhh, poor Uncle Prebar. If it weren’t for those baths he might still be with us."

Aerie (???): "Why, What’s wrong with milk baths?"

Jan: "Well, nothing… unless you happen to be attempting to sneak through a dungeon filled with hobgoblins and you have a few dozen cats nosily following the smell of sour milk and meowing all the time. Tsk. Well, at least the smell prevented them from eating him. The hobgoblins, I mean, not the cats."

Galuf the Dwarf · Post by **Galuf the Dwarf** » Wed Mar 31, 2004 4:37 pm

Re: Uncle Prebar's milk baths

Originally posted by UncleScratchy
I think this is the one you are refering to, but in my notes I don't show whether the other person is Aerie (not saying that it isn't Aerie either though):

Jan: "Ah, the smell of adventure is nigh! Or is that the ale spilled on the floor? You know, come to think of it, there’s not too much difference between the two. One usually follows the other, if you take my meaning. Unless you happen to be Uncle Prebar, who took a milk bath both before and after an adventure. Ahhh, poor Uncle Prebar. If it weren’t for those baths he might still be with us."

Aerie (???): "Why, What’s wrong with milk baths?"

Jan: "Well, nothing… unless you happen to be attempting to sneak through a dungeon filled with hobgoblins and you have a few dozen cats nosily following the smell of sour milk and meowing all the time. Tsk. Well, at least the smell prevented them from eating him. The hobgoblins, I mean, not the cats."

Yes, that sounds about it, though I swear Prebar was pursued by kobolds, not hobgoblins.