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The Cynics Corner Club (spam only on topic please)

Anything goes... just keep it clean.
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Chanak
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Post by Chanak »

@DW: Your intution was dead on the mark. If it's cynical, I will show up. :D

LOL, the entry for cannibal is one of my favorites, too. I thought you might appreciate that one. ;)

@Chimera: The god of debauchery lurks in drink. Some people lurk in the shadows, looking for a drink. Others, like our esteemed colleague Magrus, lurk in the shadows whilst drinking, with nothing but debauchery on the mind. It is only fitting that Mag adopt the god of debauchery as the honorary diety of a religion he professes, yes? :D
CYNIC, n.:
A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
-[url="http://www.alcyone.com/max/lit/devils/a.html"]The Devil's Dictionary[/url]
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dj_venom
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Post by dj_venom »

"Teaching kids is like hitting your head against a brick wall, only after several times will something stick" :D
In memorian: Fiona; Ravager; Lestat; Phreddie; and all of those from the 1500 incident. Lest we forget.
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Vicsun
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Post by Vicsun »

Cynicism is hip and cool.

[QUOTE=dragon wench]
The worst government is the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
[/QUOTE]

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.”
-C.S.Lewis
Vicsun, I certainly agree with your assertion that you are an unpleasant person. ~Chanak

:(
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Phreddie
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Post by Phreddie »

"Optimists procrastinate because they believe there is always tommorow, pessimists procrastinate because they see no point in acting if there is no tommorow"
- A little something of my own.. yea or nea?
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
Voltaire
[QUOTE=Xandax]Color me purple and call me barney.[/QUOTE]
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Aegis
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Post by Aegis »

Democracy is only a thinnly veiled form of Tyranny, in which those who seek power are still sucking on the teat of freedom.
Fiona

Post by Fiona »

Another from H L Mencken

"Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under"
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Phreddie
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Post by Phreddie »

Amen to that!

"Life seems to be a pointless excercise in futility designed to frustrate the unsuccessful, deceive the "successful", and placate the apathetic."

"Greed is the religion of all politicians; greed for success; greed for money; greed for power; or even greed for accepetance and approval; it is a religion of many sects."

-More of my own

Btw where do u people find tese wonderful excerpts of mans unapreciativness of exististence?
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
Voltaire
[QUOTE=Xandax]Color me purple and call me barney.[/QUOTE]
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Osiris
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Post by Osiris »

"Plus Ca Change, Plus C'est La Meme Chose (The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same)" Alphonse Karr
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Lestat
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Post by Lestat »

Found this quote in while doing research for another thread:

“We tend to meet any new situation in life by reorganising, and what a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.”


Oh, and try this one out:
[url="http://www.ag.wastholm.net/category/altruism"]http://www.ag.wastholm.net/category/altruism[/url]
I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
- Oscar Wilde
The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully.
- Russian proverb
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Chimaera182
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Post by Chimaera182 »

lmao yours was good.

This one was on a Deep Space Nine episode I just saw; I can't believe I forgot it, because it's just so perfect.

Dr. Bashir: "He can't help being negative: it's in his nature."
Garak: "On the contrary, I always hope for the best. Experience, unfortunately, has taught me to expect the worst."
General: "Those aren't ideas; those are special effects."
Michael Bay: "I don't understand the difference."
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Lestat
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Post by Lestat »

I think this one by Shaw could very well be the unofficial motto for this Corner:

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
- Oscar Wilde
The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully.
- Russian proverb
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Chanak
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Post by Chanak »

Here's a variety of amusing entries from The Devil's Dictionary some revelant, others irreverent:

CREDITOR, n.
One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.

DELIBERATION, n.
The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

DICTIONARY, n.
A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

DISOBEDIENCE, n.
The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.

DISTRESS, n.
A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.

DULLARD, n.
A member of the reigning dynasty in letters and life. The Dullards came in with Adam, and being both numerous and sturdy have overrun the habitable world. The secret of their power is their insensibility to blows; tickle them with a bludgeon and they laugh with a platitude. The Dullards came originally from Boeotia, whence they were driven by stress of starvation, their dullness having blighted the crops. For some centuries they infested Philistia, and many of them are called Philistines to this day. In the turbulent times of the Crusades they withdrew thence and gradually overspread all Europe, occupying most of the high places in politics, art, literature, science and theology. Since a detachment of Dullards came over with the Pilgrims in the Mayflower and made a favorable report of the country, their increase by birth, immigration, and conversion has been rapid and steady. According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians. The intellectual centre of the race is somewhere about Peoria, Illinois, but the New England Dullard is the most shockingly moral.

ECONOMY, n.
Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

EDIBLE, adj.
Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

HUMANITY, n.
The human race, collectively, exclusive of the anthropoid poets.

MAMMON, n.
The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York.

He swore that all other religions were gammon,
And wore out his knees in the worship of Mammon.

-Jared Oopf

MIRACLE, n.
An act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.

OCCIDENT, n.
The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call "war" and "commerce." These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.

TRICHINOSIS, n.
The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.
CYNIC, n.:
A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
-[url="http://www.alcyone.com/max/lit/devils/a.html"]The Devil's Dictionary[/url]
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yrthwyndandfyre
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Post by yrthwyndandfyre »

Madness

You people are total freaks! I Love it. It's like being back home again.

"The appearance of skill is frequently more valuable than skill itself." - Me.
"I'm not against the police - I'm just afraid of them" - Alfred Hitch****.
"The Child's Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
The Adolescent's Rule: Do what you will, and ye harm no one
The Adult's Rule: Do what you must, and pay the price" - Paul Morash

You have got to be kidding me. Alfred's last name is being 'bleeped'? What's next? **** au vin?

Apparrently so. Hint: Name commonly applied to the male members of the Genus Gallus. That is to say, poultry. If it is used in an expository context, it is typically alone, which is to say, {space}****{space}. Get a grip, Peo***. You cannot possibly hope to sanitize the world against dirty words, because we can make them up, noidflindler!

Please try to figure out what that means, because that will give me a really good yardstick into just how perverted *your* brain is :D

Jesus. Let's protect the world from words, because the Lord only knows that words, not thoughts, are the root of all things EVIL.
Sic gorgiamos allos subjectatos nunc
(The Addams family motto: Gladly we feast on those who would subdue us)

Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy, and good with Ketchup.
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Chanak
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Post by Chanak »

You're experiencing the forum's profanity filter. While it's against the site administrator's wishes to circumvent it in order to employ profanity in a post, it's acceptable to circumvent it in the case of a word like Hitchc@ck, which is not profanity at all, but simply a name. Context is the guideline here.
CYNIC, n.:
A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
-[url="http://www.alcyone.com/max/lit/devils/a.html"]The Devil's Dictionary[/url]
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Chimaera182
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Post by Chimaera182 »

Every silver lining has a cloud (I think that's one of mine, but it's possible I heard it on Waiting For God and forgot).

I think I liked ECONOMY the best. :p Geez, I'm turning into Magrus, alright.
General: "Those aren't ideas; those are special effects."
Michael Bay: "I don't understand the difference."
Fiona

Post by Fiona »

If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.


Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

All Bertrand Russell
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Kipi
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Post by Kipi »

Here are some I've heard, these may be posted here already but at least I didn't see them.

"The best thing being pessimist is that there is no bad suprises"
"Why do something today when you can do it tomorrow"
"As we all know, holy men were born during Christmas...
Like mr. Holopainen over there!"
- Marco Hietala, the bass player of Nightwish
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yrthwyndandfyre
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Post by yrthwyndandfyre »

From a Bumper Sticker on a white 1982 Seville:
"As a matter of fact, yes, I do own the road"

From T-Shirts:
"I tried it! I tried it! And it almost KILLED ME!"
"Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down here."
Sic gorgiamos allos subjectatos nunc
(The Addams family motto: Gladly we feast on those who would subdue us)

Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy, and good with Ketchup.
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Phreddie
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Post by Phreddie »

Not exactly a great cynical quote but i found it enjoyable. (it seems liek one of those that's old and has resurfaced)

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.


-random t-shirt of my friend
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
Voltaire
[QUOTE=Xandax]Color me purple and call me barney.[/QUOTE]
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Lestat
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Post by Lestat »

Why postpone something until tomorrow, if you can postpone it indefinitely.

It's not me that's paranoid, it's all the others that are out to get me.

Oh and on the profanity filter: you could probably squeeze the whole translation of "Justine" by de Sade through it. The guy doesn't use dirty words. But it's still perverted from cover to cover. So indeed, context is everything. :D
I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
- Oscar Wilde
The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully.
- Russian proverb
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