Things a Morrowind NPC would never actually say

Darth Potato · Post by **Darth Potato** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 4:24 am

silt strider guy: i might get a an extravagant shirt and maybe some pants

fable · Post by **fable** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 6:38 pm

Guys, keep it clean. We're starting to get complaints, and I had to remove the last comment which went over-the-line. Thanks.

dragonfang22 · Post by **dragonfang22** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 8:24 pm

walking corpus to creeper the scapm:hey you got booze right? can you spare a bottle of skooma? i got a few ladie corpuses waiting.....

dragonfang22 · Post by **dragonfang22** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 8:41 pm

shopkeeper: hmmmm he just picked my bedroom door,picked my chests and is looking through my crates sacks and cuboards,and is sneaking around....wait what is happening to all my stuff??? .....well who cares right....right?

Adahn · Post by **Adahn** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 5:16 am

*Past*

Dagoth Ur: I'm going to become a great artist one day *smiles all cute like while licking a lollipop*

*Present*

Dagoth Ur's cronies: Hail Dagoth Ur!

Damn Snakes! · Post by **Damn Snakes!** » Fri May 05, 2006 1:34 pm

First Guard: "so I sez to Fargoth "Move Along..."

Second Guard: "that is some good guarding"

First Guard: "Yeah, I know, thanks"

Greg. · Post by **Greg.** » Fri May 05, 2006 1:42 pm

This is a blast from the past...

Commoner - yes, I <name> will fight the guy stealing my stuff. Never mind that he is level 67, and has a big sword...

Magelord648 · Post by **Magelord648** » Fri May 05, 2006 1:46 pm

Anyone: Theres no kids! What'll happen when we all die!

shana · Post by **shana** » Fri May 05, 2006 7:23 pm

NPC--Oh, pardon me, was I in your way? Please let me move from the middle of the doorway.

This is my biggest pet peeve, if you can't tell from previous posts.

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri May 05, 2006 9:06 pm

NPC: What do you mean I have the exact same topics of conversation of everyone else you've met, we're all individuals here, didn't you know!

Greg. · Post by **Greg.** » Sat May 06, 2006 4:48 am

[QUOTE=dragon wench]NPC: What do you mean I have the exact same topics of conversation of everyone else you've met, we're all individuals here, didn't you know![/QUOTE]

2nd NPC: What do you mean I have the exact same topics of conversation of everyone else you've met, we're all individuals here, didn't you know!

3rd NPC: What do you mean I have the exact same topics of conversation of everyone else you've met, we're all individuals here, didn't you know!

4th NPC...

Mad-Man (Meow) · Post by **Mad-Man (Meow)** » Wed May 10, 2006 5:29 pm

What a npc would say? well i can think of a few

Courpse stalker "Hey does anyone smell that?"

NPC's from the mages guild "yes i overprice everything just for you"
NPC gm1 "everytime you make a good spell ill make sure you can not cast it ha ha ha ha"

NPC gm2 "join us and be sent on quest that have nothing to do with magicka and the mages guild"

A Dumb Flame Artronach "Hey whats burning ..... Is somone having a bbq? ......Hey everyone i have a great song its called im hot hot hot" HA that last one was pretty lam lol

Skeletion "dude ive got a boner":laugh: lame!!

Cave rat "why am i even in the game i dont do anything and icant even hurt you so why am i here??"

Just some random NPC "walking around walking around why cant i sit down or use the bath room I REALLY NEED TO PEE!!!!!!!!!!":speech:

amora_pwns · Post by **amora_pwns** » Wed May 10, 2006 6:29 pm

Commoner "OMG! I just got hit with a broadsword about 16 times and IM NOT BLEEDING! WOOT!"

any NPC "Why is everyone wondering why I dont use the bathroom?"

Bum (to another NPC)"Dude.... this kwama egg is pretty good. Man, you got any saltrice...? That stuff is the chronic"

any NPC (after they have killed you) "HECK YES! I PWN!!!"

Phreddie · Post by **Phreddie** » Wed May 10, 2006 8:22 pm

Naked Nord outside of Caldera: [Sings] Man! I feel like a woman... [/sings]

RebelousDarkElf · Post by **RebelousDarkElf** » Thu May 11, 2006 7:03 pm

Any NPC: Hey, what level am I?

Frost Atrinoch: Is it hot in Varvendale, or is it just me? (It's never winter there

)

Siberys · Post by **Siberys** » Thu May 11, 2006 7:43 pm

Slaves: "Yeah, you freed us, I thank you hero..."

Hero leaves to another wonderous adventure.

Slave1: "So, why don't we go to Vivec or somethin?"

Slave2: "Because Bethesda didn't program us to do so. Even if we're free, our scripting will be to stand here until the end of time."

Slave1: "Damn. Here and I was in the mood to go see my wife."

Slave2: "Yeah, it does bite."

Slave1: "Well, at least I have chicken."
______________________

Cliff Racer- "Hmph, I see you, you little naughty adventurer. I see that you're level 40 and have a glass claymore with a full set of ebony armor, but I'm still going to attack you when you come near me and that battle music starts playing."
______________________

NPC- "The slaughterfish are infesting the waters, I wouldn't go in any lake or sea for some time."

Player- "I didn't actually have that planned in the first place..." then he walks off.

Slaughterfish sitting in a lake listening- "Umm, DUH! Of course we're infesting the waters, the water is our...KITCHEN!"
______________________

Player to NPC- "Say, do you randomly ever fall on the walkways of Vivec, just fall into the water even though you're on solid ground?"

NPC at Silt Strider- "We make a special trip just for you, same low price."
______________________

Vampire 1- "Hmm, we should do a play, I read a book about a Vampire that did a play. How about it?"

Vampire 2- "Umm, I guess. We're in this dungeon until someone comes and kills us, so sure, if it passes time. Any ideas?"

Vampire 1- "Well, we got that Imperial over there, Saria Michella Gellaria, so how about we make one called...I dunno, Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

Vampire 2- *Facepalm*
_______________________

Flame Attronanch- "See my thumb, how it's on fire? Imagine....all over my body."

Clannfear- "Dude, that's awesome!"
_______________________

Clannfear- "You ever wonder why we're here?"

Flame Attronanch- "It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence or is there really a God, watching everything, you know, with a plan for us and stuff. I dunno, man, but it keeps me up at night."

Clannfear- "What? I mean, why are we out here, in this canyon with the ancient ruins."

Flame Attronanch- "Oh... I... Yeah."

Clannfear- "You wanna talk about it?"

Flame Attronanch- "Uhh- huhm nothing"

fable · Post by **fable** » Thu May 11, 2006 7:51 pm

Vivec: I am VIVEC, the great and terrible! -Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Deadalready · Post by **Deadalready** » Thu May 11, 2006 8:27 pm

NPC: "You want to get to Bob's Fish Shack? All you have to do is go directly west of the town."
(As opposed to leave past the south gates, left at the river Kwai, jump over the flaming puzzle blocks, north at a signpost..."

RebelousDarkElf · Post by **RebelousDarkElf** » Fri May 12, 2006 7:33 pm

Ok... I got one:

It would be amazing if the player actually said ANYTHING

Suprised nobody said that yet

Siberys · Post by **Siberys** » Sat May 13, 2006 10:24 am

Third page, 1st post my friend.