Things a Morrowind NPC would never actually say

Siberys · Post by **Siberys** » Sat May 13, 2006 4:12 pm

Cassius Cosades: "My name is Cassius Cosades, you killed my father, prepare to die!"

RebelousDarkElf · Post by **RebelousDarkElf** » Sun May 14, 2006 9:32 am

[QUOTE=Siberys]Third page, 1st post my friend.[/QUOTE]

Oh, my bad. That was original though, I didn't take it.

NUBUH7 · Post by **NUBUH7** » Sun May 14, 2006 7:39 pm

reply

Ordinator: Got the whole top diamond and the bottom row's gold!

Rat right before its demise: WAIT! I have corprus, blight, common disease, and... err... AIDS! Don't kill me or you'll catch them!

Greg. · Post by **Greg.** » Mon May 15, 2006 5:02 am

[QUOTE=NUBUH7]: WAIT! I have corprus, blight, common disease, and... err... AIDS! Don't kill me or you'll catch them![/QUOTE]

Mildly poor taste there...

Guard: Yes, I know you are the almighty Nerevar, but you took a spoon worth 1 septim. I'm afraid you're under arres...argh!!!

fable · Post by **fable** » Mon May 15, 2006 7:29 am

GregtheSleeper wrote:Mildly poor taste there...

Agreed. It's one thing to speak of game-related diseases. Let's not bring in diseases from which thousands of people are literally dying every day in the real world, okay?

Fable is actually glad you started a new thread on a new subject, and to show his appreciation, will change the thread title so it actually reflects the thread content.

LOL!

Fable will also share the following:

Archmage Trebonious: My quest for you is this--please explain in words I can understand why you can go and grab things, kill people, and take on activities for the guilds, while all of us who have been in the guilds for years can't even leave them. Thank you.

Eric V · Post by **Eric V** » Mon May 15, 2006 7:43 am

Guard= i came to help kill the cliff racer why did u strike, me prepare to die!

amora_pwns · Post by **amora_pwns** » Mon May 15, 2006 2:11 pm

guar: "hey, wheres the cream filling?"

NUBUH7 · Post by **NUBUH7** » Mon May 15, 2006 6:59 pm

reply,

sorry for the vulgarness or whatever you want to call it. Delete the thing if u want.

ordinator: Gold is better than silver!

High Ordinator: No silver's better!

Hand of Alemexia: Do you wanna die?

Both Ordinators, at the same time: No sir.

Hand of Alemexia: Leave now.

Both Ordinators, at the same time: Yes sir.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(spoilers...)
NUBUH7: Oww, why'd you attack me? Stupid ashlanders! I'm the friggin Nevervarine! (spelling help there...)

Ahslander: HEY! You're not supposed to know that you level 5 loser! You'll know that later, and up until then, you're free game!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NUBUH7: Ohh, Alemexia, help me...

76 Ordinators: You said the magic word! Now we clog, my friend! Pour your soul into it!

( Shortly after this the Ordinators hold hands and Riverdance. Most innocent bystandes die of heart failure

Damn Snakes! · Post by **Damn Snakes!** » Tue May 16, 2006 12:04 pm

Player: "Admire"

NPC: "Well, it has been a while for me too... SINCE I HAVEN'T LEFT THIS STINKIN' STORE IN FOREVER!"

Player: "Nevermind..."

amora_pwns · Post by **amora_pwns** » Tue May 16, 2006 5:57 pm

Player: *takes a bammer*

~Your crime has been reported!~

Player: HEY! since when is it wrong to relieve myself?

NPC: Since you were doing it on my rug... NOW PREPARE TO DIE!

Player: *attacks NPC*

~Your crime has been reported!~

Player: oh WHAT WAS THAT!!!!! HE SAID HE WAS GONNA ATTACK ME!

NPC: Yeah but i didnt do it yet... Oh and by the way YOU CANT DO THAT IN THE GAME! HAHA! now PREPARETODIE! *attacks*

Player: *dies*

Me: crap.

XxBlitzkriegxX · Post by **XxBlitzkriegxX** » Thu May 18, 2006 9:43 pm

An Ashlander: You know what would be awesome? To meet someone new. An outlander, maybe.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
An NPC watching the player fight: Man, does he know ANY other moves? Thrust, Chop, Slash. Thrust, Chop, Slash. Boring.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Cliff Racer: Dude. I'm the only flying creature in the game. AIR SUPERIORITY, MOTHER******S!

amora_pwns · Post by **amora_pwns** » Wed May 24, 2006 5:09 pm

NPC: "It's been awhile..."
Me (thinking) GOOD GOD WHAT DID I JUST SAY TO HIM!?

Damn Snakes! · Post by **Damn Snakes!** » Fri May 26, 2006 9:16 am

Ordinator "actually, I walk this way 'cause my greaves are too tight..."

scamp "gee, I wish I didn't sound like a neutered pug..."

Skorm_himself · Post by **Skorm_himself** » Sat May 27, 2006 11:11 am

great thread

Temple leader :" I know we have Much annoying and long quests, but u like the ebony mail dont u ? " .

(thanks Fable about the Filter thing i hope in this form it will fit a bit better than the last one

?)

creeper : "why do i have to carry all these stuffs of yours? , and why do i have to buy everrything in full prices?

creeper : "why are you sleeping in front of me for many weeks ?"

Vivec : "Hi nerevarine i can go and handle the Dagoth Ur and his vampires for you , u just rest here while im there."

Cliff racer : " ok player i dont tease u now u can go without me knocking ur neck all the time"

Kwama forgeiner /rat / nix hound : "haahaa Your rest is interrupted"

J'alig the Liar : "As i said there are horses at the west , the oblivion just came out"

Spirits at the cavern of incarnate : "Cant touch me , cant touch me , cant touch me"

apfly · Post by **apfly** » Tue May 30, 2006 4:06 pm

ordinator: please please let me live but it may have happened

Deadalready · Post by **Deadalready** » Wed May 31, 2006 9:49 pm

The different reactions of NPCs after buying $300 Saltrice from a player with 2000 points of personality.

~

NPC 1: I do not feel my life validated.

Spoiler

What, results may vary?

NPC 2: This piece of Saltrice is undoubtibly incredible! Have you ever seen one like it?

Spoiler

You say this saltrice with the right ingredients has the ability to cure world hunger and has penal enchancement properties!?!

NPC 3: I don't know about the Saltrice but did you see the Kwama Circles on the lady I brought it from? My word!

NPC 4: It's good but it's not that good.

Spoiler

Maybe if I buy another...

2D2 · Post by **2D2** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 9:16 am

NPC 1: hey, is it me or is life getting a bit boring?
NPC 2: its just you
NPC 1: oh ok, its just that i feel like i've been walking around this exact spot all my life
NPC 2: don't be stupid, just yesterday i looked at a slightly different angle at the tree over there!
NPC 1: man you are so lucky

Dragon Reborn · Post by **Dragon Reborn** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 7:35 pm

(Any dummer to any outlander) (insert any vaguely polite thing here)

(Any Demora) Does this shade of eye shadow bring out the color in my eyes?

(dude that falls out of the sky outside Selia neen) I caan seee my hoooooouse *splat*

(the king dude) so u'd like to buy a house? well there arnt any! nope not on the whole island!

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri Jun 02, 2006 11:28 pm

NPC 1: There is somebody watching me... I can tell.

NPC 2: I thought you were getting treatment for your paranoid delusions.

NPC 3: They threw him out of the support group meeting when he said that Dagoth Ur was just misunderstood.

NPC 1: Hey! Did anyone just see that suit of glass armour flying through the air all by itself!"

Black Elf · Post by **Black Elf** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 11:03 am

All NPCs: "Dude you will certanly crush me, but whatever fleeing is for cowards. So die!!!"