Things a Morrowind NPC would never actually say

Coot · Post by **Coot** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 1:13 pm

"Go for the eyes, Boo, go for... wait a sec... aw no, lost AGAIN!! Blasted SoA pathfinding..!"

fable · Post by **fable** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 1:37 pm

[QUOTE=Coot]"Go for the eyes, Boo, go for... wait a sec... aw no, lost AGAIN!! Blasted SoA pathfinding..!"[/QUOTE]

LOL! I'd love to come across Minsc wandering through Vvardenfell. Though I suppose it's just as well, since I'd certainly be disappointed I couldn't grab him as a companion.

You know, somebody should write up a mod like that.

Anyway...

Silk Strider Operator: One trip, one price. You don't like it, use Mark and Recall. You don't know how, get out of my sight.

Berethor · Post by **Berethor** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 6:22 pm

[QUOTE=Coot]"Go for the eyes, Boo, go for... wait a sec... aw no, lost AGAIN!! Blasted SoA pathfinding..!"[/QUOTE]

LMAO! It would be pretty funny if there was a scroll called "Summon Minsc" amd he came onto the battlefield and killed all evil. Then he does his batle cry:

"Boo will have clean wood shavings you evil bastards!"

[QUOTE=fable]You know, somebody should write up a mod like that.[/QUOTE]

Agreed! That would be awesome, but only if he can team up with you, has the lines from BGII, and doesn't run as slow as the other tag-alongs in the game. Then again, he could just be the crazy guy who hangs out in the local tavern talking about his amazing adventures in Faerun with Berethor.

Damn Snakes! · Post by **Damn Snakes!** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:13 pm

Guild Boss: "what do you say, I give you my job standing around here all the freakin' time, forever, and I go wandering around islands and up mountains for a while..."

Dremora: "C'mon GATORS! Get up and GO!" (he has a gator-head, you see...)

Raven_Song · Post by **Raven_Song** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:19 pm

Male gamer playing female character: I'm not having my PC wear that armour, it is far too skimpy.

2D2 · Post by **2D2** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:04 am

caius cosades chasing a mudcrab: come back with my shirt!

Guard while fighting you: I should have picked an easier opponent

me playing morrowind for the first time: mwahahaha die!!! *do you want to load a previous save*

TheHero · Post by **TheHero** » Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:27 pm

I've actually had guards say, "I'm getting out of here!"... Guards, and the Duke that's in Ebonhart, thanks to my 80% Chameleon ring. They can't see you, so they chicken out and run. Hah, Duke running. With the Lord's Cuirass and huge sword I got. Jerk.

And I played Morrowind after playing Fable, so I was like, Let's kill the first person we see! Some poor hobo in a hut in Seyda Neen beat me to the ground, unconcious. I was killed. By a hobo. With fists.

Anyways....

Guard at Ghostgate: Dude, I bet you can't run past the gate and back alive.
Guard at Ghostgate2: Dude, you're on.
(Pause)
Guard at Ghostgate2: Ouch.

Berethor · Post by **Berethor** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 5:58 pm

Dancers at Desele's House of Earthly Delights: Man, I wish I went to college...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

New Player: Hehehe! I have the unstoppable Iron Dagger! I can't believe they give it this early in the game! Hey mister Ergala...die!

2 seconds later: Uhh...My bad...?

wing · Post by **wing** » Wed Sep 13, 2006 7:06 pm

vivec: i want you to kill my old friend dagoth ur. he was your friend too once. you say you don't remember him? well, go ask any one of the shirtless dunmer that suddenly appeared at random intersections in the middle of nowhere.

Dagoth Raven · Post by **Dagoth Raven** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 9:58 am

Caius Casades: "That whole Nerevar business was a mix-up with the reality police"

Dagoth Gares;"Go ahead! Make yourself comfy and I'll pour the tea.Corprus?Why no! Of course I won't infect you."

Dremora: *looking uncomfortable* "I gotta pee!"

Ordinator: "Morning peeps.Yeah, go ahead and stroke my armour if you want to."

Dagoth Ur: "I just married Almalexia! We're going to have Tribunlets!"

Cast · Post by **Cast** » Thu Sep 14, 2006 5:33 pm

Any NPC: "Man, that bread looks good..."
Any NPC: "Hey, maybe if I marry someone they'll love me!" (seriously, haven't you ever wondered why there aren't any couples in the game?)

Fargoth: "I hate you."

Nerevarine · Post by **Nerevarine** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 11:49 pm

Dagoth Ur: What's up man? Long time no see!

Vivec: This better be important, I was just about to hit nirvana. You want a what? A GLOVE?!

Royal Guard: What happens in Mournhold, stays in Mournhold.

Karrod: You killed king Helseth! That'll be 40 gold, mister.

Dude with Icarian Flight Scrolls: I can see my house from here!

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri Sep 15, 2006 11:58 pm

Assuming that the Better Bodies mod is installed...

Male NPC to female player character:
*blink* *blink again* "I had *no* idea there were silicone mines in Vardenfell...."

Berethor · Post by **Berethor** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 2:18 pm

dragon wench wrote:Assuming that the Better Bodies mod is installed...

Male NPC to female player character:
*blink* *blink again* "I had *no* idea there were silicone mines in Vardenfell...."

I don't know why, but this made my day

2D2 · Post by **2D2** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 5:15 am

VIVEC: Hey there, you say you been travelling all around vvardenfell for years and then someone tells you too come here and get help to killing dagoth ur? ha ha sorry to dissapoint you but i just got back from red mountain, dagoth urs caught blight disease, the doctors say he won't pull through.....shame....

RebelousDarkElf · Post by **RebelousDarkElf** » Sun Dec 03, 2006 10:13 am

Main Character: Uh oh, that damn music is changing again, can't I be left alone!

Berethor · Post by **Berethor** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 5:17 pm

Player Character after doing the Zainab Ashkahn's quest: So...how about you give me that Thong of Zainab?

Zainab Ashkahn: Can my new wife try the Thong on first...?

------------------------

Fargoth: Hey Berethor! Do you want to quest together? I'll cast a Charm spell on the monsters while you Disintegrate their clothing...[/fantasy].

------------------------

Vivec: Aiight Berethor, you chill here while I go put da whoopin' on Dagoth-to-the-Ur's arse, aiight? Jus' don't be trippin' up in here, yo. Peace out, dawg.

Berethor: Later homeboy. I'll just be spittin' da rimes when you'se killin' dat bizzatch, aiight.

Vivec: S'fine wit me, yo.

Sean The Owner · Post by **Sean The Owner** » Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:52 pm

most shop owners: youre going to have to get rid of that moonsugar before i have anything to do with you.

your character: err...how'd you know I have moonsugar without doing a cavity search?:speech:

Damn Snakes! · Post by **Damn Snakes!** » Sat Dec 23, 2006 1:00 pm

Player: "Admire"

Character: "Later I'd love too, it has been awhile for me too"

Player: "what the heck did I just say to you?"

Ordinator: "move along.... scum..."

Player: taunt... SUCCESS! (ownage)

Player: "thanks dude for the cool equipment... scum..."

supershadow · Post by **supershadow** » Sun Dec 31, 2006 6:41 pm

Guard- You must pay 20 gold and surrender any stolen goods.

Player- Deal

Guard- umm where did you get this glass dagger from?

Player- My Grandma...