Brann, since you told us what your experiences have been like, it's a lot easier to make suggestions for you. But I'm letting you know that any advice I give you is colored by own outlook on the game.
I'm in Chapter Three of a game I started a couple of days ago, and I'm already thinking about restarting. I'm playing with Fade (my first time with her), who seems to be very interesting, but so far the game lacks excitement for me. I think the main problems I'm having are that there are too many choices to make and I'm trying too hard to control what happens. I'm playing a Fighter/Mage for the first time, but I constantly have the impulse to change him to a Sorcerer, Wild Mage, or Fighter/Thief. I made him a Fighter/Wild Mage to help me pay more attention to his class (I keep forgetting what he is--maybe it's the dorky Mage robes that throw me off, but I'm sure the hydrocodone I'm taking due to some dental work has a lot to do with it as well). I made Fade a Swashbuckler so I could get rid of Minsc (to reduce my party size), but in my humble opinion her attitude isn't violent enough for a former pit fighter. (I'm playing a Chaotic Neutral character and I don't want to talk about restraint and "fighting my inner demons" all the time.) After Jaheira left with Meronia (she said that her loyalties lie elsewhere) and came back demanding that I walk into what is obviously a dangerous trap, I feel like killing her. It wasn't any fun to make a choice between Aerie and Fade because my character wants both of them. (Kind of like Sugar and Spice if you ever saw
Batman Forever.) Haer'Dalis would be a good addition to my party (I like his doom-and-gloom-but-strangely-happy-go-lucky attitude), but I'm already playing my main character like I would a Blade, so I'm afraid that I would neglect one if I tried to play both of them. All of the choices I have and the clear knowledge that I can control everything that happens is really getting me down. My biggest regret about this game is that it's so serious and I can't recruit the Marx Brothers for my "mayhem".
I want to go to the extreme right now, so naturally, I recommend that you do the same. I say we should both install a bunch of NPC mods, the Pocket Plane Group Banter Pack, and the Cross Mod Banter Pack. Pick characters who get on your nerves (it will stimulate you). Let several characters fight over you. I think I'll install Kelsey (whom I can't stand), Tsujatha, and the Corthala Romantique. The Edwin Romance Mod is supposed to be compatible with Tsujatha, but I think you ultimately have to choose one romance over the other. I don't want to install the Edwin mod because I have the idea in the back of my mind that I might create my own Edwin mod someday and I don't want to see anyone else's interpretation before I develop my own. I'll either keep Fade or replace her with Jan, and I should probably recruit Anomen. (I'll let him fail his test so he'll be a bitter Chaotic character.) That ought to provide plenty of drama, and their abilities will provide some really wild game play. It doesn't really matter which class I choose for my main character, but you should pick the one you feel like playing the most.
PC (I'll probably play a Wild Mage)
Anomen
Kelsey (I'm going to disable his sound files if I can--I can only take so much annoyance)
Tsujatha
Valygar (I think that's who Corthala Romantique involves) or Korgan if Valygar does not appeal to you
Fade or Jan (you could use Edwin, especially since you don't need a Thief)
Sarevok in TOB if you or your party members end up killing one of the others (you can see where I think this party is going)
I have checked the compatibility lists, and I would use the following mods:
Baldurdash Fixpack and Text Update (I've had compatibility problems with the G3 BG2 Fixpack)
G3 Tweak Pack (replaces Ease of Use; I mainly use the convenience tweaks, not the rule changes; the multi-romance component is NOT compatible with all of the NPC mods)
Unfinished Business
Oversight (I don't install anything but the Alignment Correction component)
Ascension
CrossModBanterPack
Pocket Plane Group Banter Packs
You ought to see if the G3 Anniversary Mod is compatible with those. It's a silly quest that adds a lot of humor to the game. The SimDing0 Quest Pack is okay, too. You might look for a more focused mod that adds one particular quest, such as Desecration of Souls or one of the many others that are out there, but you need to check for compatibility.