Things a Morrowind NPC would never actually say

BlueSky · Post by **BlueSky** » Mon Jan 01, 2007 11:37 am

Actually I am a bit tired of hearing the phrase, "what's this then?"

Seems a bit overused in the game. IMHO

mystikspiralfan · Post by **mystikspiralfan** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:23 pm

Shopowner: Hello, madame. How may I help-oh-oh, of course you're a male. I didn't mean to imply...um...wanna buy something?"

House Guard: Find a healer. And stop coming close enough to me that I feel the need to express my annoyance.

2nd Dagoth Ur: LOLOLOL n0000000000b!!!!!!!!11111

Nerevar Reborn · Post by **Nerevar Reborn** » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:06 am

Khajit: mmm...this chocolate moon sugar is good
Replying Breton: Err...thats dirt

King Malus · Post by **King Malus** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 8:00 pm

i really love it everytime i hear and NPC actually say something thats more interesting than usual, so im gonna put this down.

Monk dude in hla oad: i saw the girl in the tavern looking at me again... how do i tell her im not interested?

mercenary in mournhold palace courtyard: Grandmaster of house Hlaalu, how can i serve u? (i was so intrigued by this i actually hired the guy. my char has never been addressed by title out loud before!)

Takbir · Post by **Takbir** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:38 pm

aragonian- watch how fast i can swim!
breton- err isn't that moving a little too fast?
aragonian- no watch.......argh!!!! help me!?!

lol and things when are actually in game are quite funny liek when u admire some1 they go "yes it has been a very long time for me too" :laugh: and "yes it is a very rare thing indeed"

lol...also
vivec- you so n00by i 0wnt u ch00b
almalexia- hell no i came down hard on sotha sils ass beat that

lol:laugh:

d-mac · Post by **d-mac** » Wed Feb 14, 2007 8:09 pm

lifeishell91 wrote:Daedroth:

"NO I'm not really an alligator, please no, don't turn me into a handbag or a pair of shoes...no...please...NO! AHH!!"
*Dies of Trauma*

LOL!

Now THAT was meaner than the Fargoth thing...

Anyway: Vivec: "Well, actually there never was only one Wraithguard... Just please don't tell Azura, okay? Please, I beg you! Here, take my infinite wisdom, or my divine powers, just don't tell Azura!!"

AmpaSand · Post by **AmpaSand** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 9:52 pm

Dremora @ Maar Gan Shine. "Sorry you cannot complete this quest by taunting me. I'VE been taking anger management classes"

AtaOfTheShard · Post by **AtaOfTheShard** » Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:58 am

Big Helende to player: now i want felens ebony staff, he lives in a tower far from here. take these levitation potions to get in.
(player walks out door)
Theif: Did you tell him felen is a crazy super wizard that zaps every thing he sees move?
Big Helende: And save my competion from a horrible death? ? I think not!
Theif: oKAY then..... how long till the next one?

Siberys · Post by **Siberys** » Sun Mar 23, 2008 10:10 am

Player: "Well this is just great, I'm finally out of prison and I'm sent to a world with an economy in the crapper, very little government, a bit of a military rule, and slavery is quite abundant, oh and lets not forget that if I fall asleep an assassin will try and kill me for a reason I really don't want to know. But there is good news at least, I just saved a bunch of money on my silt strider insurance by switching to Geico."

Dagoth Ur: "Jeez, and I thought I was insane."

FromNorth · Post by **FromNorth** » Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:34 am

Divayth Fyr: Ofcourse im necessary to complete the main guest, but feel free to kill me and take all my precious items. You can always use a console command to call me back.

stebbieranch · Post by **stebbieranch** » Wed Jun 11, 2008 12:20 pm

Hasphat Antabolis: Ohhh look another low level noob trying to get some info. Of course I could just tell him but thats to easy. Ill just make him cross a bridge with a crazy phycopath on it and into an inpossible labirynth crawling with more phycopaths to find a small cube for no apparent reason. yeah just to get him used to the game.

unregisturd · Post by **unregisturd** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:30 pm

Any NPC (staring blankly in awe at a door after you exit): "What th?!.. How did he??... THAT GUY USED A DOOR!"

Oversize load · Post by **Oversize load** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:26 am

a dremora to another:Hey nice tan

Flame atronach:IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE SO TAKE OF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!!

galraen · Post by **galraen** » Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:45 am

PC 'Wow, a locked AND trapped chest, must be some great treasure in here!'.

Why is it that the more secure a chest is (Solstheim apart) the less likely it is that it will contain anything valuable? The most valuable item in most chests seems to be yet another copy of 'Quack, Quack Hissy' or whatever it's called!

vickstick · Post by **vickstick** » Sun Oct 12, 2008 1:53 pm

Cinia Urtius:"WHERE am I?

Caius Cosades(with his hand in his pants):"Erm, I can explain! Geez, cant a guy be lonely in a country far from home?"

Huleens apprentice:"So I devided to spice things u a bit between Huleen and me and I summoned this scamp..."

Player:taunt fail
NPC:Whats that tiresome noise?
Player:taunt success
NPC:shut up and draw!
Player:taunt fail
NPC:Whats that tiresome noise?
Player:taunt fail
NPC:Whats that tiresome noise?
Player:bribe 100 gold
NPC:this is suitable, X
Player:taunt fail
NPC:Whats that tiresome noise?
Player:taunt success
NPC:shut up and draw!
Player:taunt fail
NPC:Whats that tiresome noise?
Player:bribe 100 gold
NPC:this is suitable, X
Player:taunt fail
NPC:Whats that tiresome noise?
Player:bribe 100 gold
NPC:this is suitable, X
Player:taunt fail
NPC:Whats that tiresome noise?
Player:taunt fail
NPC:Whats that tiresome noise?
Player:taunt success
NPC: im kinda confused because your offending me and giving me lots of cash at the same time... ah what the heck! DIE FETCHER!

nord near caldera: bring me my axe? dont be rididculous! i just like being naked in front of total strangers out of pure sexual frustration!

Guard:Your under arrest!
Femal NPC

flashes her boobs)
Guard:Hehe, urm, dont worry 'bout that fine.. oh god i cant wait to tell this to the other guys...

Uriel · Post by **Uriel** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 5:45 pm

Dagoth Ur:"Hey you, are you the repair man? Good, go down there and fix the bridge to my heart. Oh, good you brought Keening and Sunder, I don't have a wrench and hammer for you."

Bonewalker:"Hey I know I'm ugly, but you don't have to stare."

Dreadoth:"I still don't get it! Am I an alligator or some offsprey from a cliffracer?"

Summoned Golden Saint:"Okay look, me and my buddys are tired of you killing us for our stuff. Don't we mean more to you? We feel like your just using our armor to show off in a youtube video."

Deadalready · Post by **Deadalready** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 10:27 pm

Bandit in a Cave somewhere: "Mum never told me how lonely living in a cave by myself would be, I really wish I had someone to talk to around here."

*sees player enter*

Bandit: "DIE!"

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 10:57 pm

Deadalready wrote:Bandit in a Cave somewhere: "Mum never told me how lonely living in a cave by myself would be, I really wish I had someone to talk to around here."

*sees player enter*

Bandit: "DIE!"

ROFL! :laugh:

Any NPC: *looks around in confusion* "Hey! who keeps changing all the textures around here !?!"

BlueSky · Post by **BlueSky** » Sat Nov 08, 2008 10:28 am

dragon wench wrote:ROFL! :laugh:

Any NPC: *looks around in confusion* "Hey! who keeps changing all the textures around here !?!"

:laugh: Oh yes, characters in my games, have the same comments...

along with..." Wow, that house wasn't there yesterday!"

dragon wench · Post by **dragon wench** » Sat Nov 08, 2008 1:29 pm

BlueSky wrote: along with..." Wow, that house wasn't there yesterday!"

yep! lol! Though I'm staying to mesh and texture replacers right now, no additional plug-ins since my install so as to avoid doubling.

Arriving in Seyda Neen:

*"Your papers say you are seeking asylum from..."

*"And for Azura's sake, please do *not* lift the silverware on your way out, we are sick of continually replacing it."

*Fargoth: "Yeah OK OK, I know I'm a runty little Bosmer who nobody respects, but still, you gotta give me credit for having sway with the town's only trader"