Don't Make Me Play That!

Category: News Archive

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Written by BuckGB on May 28th, 2008

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Here's the plot, as I was able to deduce from the long, rambling cutscenes. Geraldo Rivera, moustachioed US journalist for Fox News, is fighting a monster with a lovely head of red hair. Later that night Geraldo punches a princess in the face. After this, as expressed by a single sentence, the Great War breaks out, and the world falls apart. Because of the Princess Monster face punching? It's not clear.

Later, Geraldo has amnesia. Only it's OK because he meets up with a group of Elves with magic and poorly chosen clothing and dialogue written by my six-year-old nephew's primary school class. Then monsters attack the castle, and Geraldo's PC becomes inflicted by graphical glitches before spontaneously rebooting, repeatedly. Wait, now all you readers hate me too, don't you? Damn.

Play it again?
Never, ever, again.

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